exile in kidville

April 9, 2008, 12:59 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

hi everyone…i knew it had been a long time since i’ve posted, but i didn’t realize it has been THIS long.  i’m still here.  baby is still on the inside, much to my chagrin.  i am SO ready for baby to come out.  it’s killing me.

i have to admit, i’m not handling these last few weeks of pregnancy well.  at all.  i’m an emotional basket case and am just more than ready to get this part over with.   i wake up sad every morning with the realization that nothing has happened yet.  or has even begun to happen.  i spent most of saturday morning in tears…just because i’m so tired of being pregnant while simultaneously being scared of how one becomes not pregnant (though even that fear is slowly now being subsumed by just wanting baby OUT).  i know, i’m not even due yet, but i was CONVINCED that this would be an early baby.  HA.  joke’s on me, no?

please don’t judge.  i know how lucky i am to be here.  i know this a blessing and that many of you would like to kick my teeth out for the whining….but i’m just being honest with you.  this part is HARD and it is just sucking.  thank god i’m not working (i think — some days the distraction would be good).  it takes me an hour to get ready to get out the door these days and that’s without a shower.  getting shoes on can take a good ten minutes…it all hurts.  all of me.

four couples in our baby group have delivered already.  my mood barely allowed me to be happy for them.  i instead asked "why not me?"  yes, i know i’m ridiculous. 

baby’s kicks are even problematic these days.  they HURT.  a lot.  granted, i would surely be loosing what is left of my mind if baby wasn’t kicking, so i’m still grateful for them in that regard….but seriously?  wee?  you can tone it down a wee bit.  you don’t need to make me gasp for air with each kick!

i’m just dying to meet you, wee.  please, please come out.  i promise, we’ll have a much better time once you’re on the outside!  your nursery is ready.  your mom (!) is ready and so is your dad.  the doula is on speed dial, and the bags are packed.  we’re ready, baby.  come out, come out!


20 Comments so far
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I am having these feelings some days and I have quite a ways to go – I assume I will/may be early.
Hoping for your baby to arrive safe and sound soon

Comment by Farah

I feel for ya, but glad to hear all is shitty (still inside) but well (still kicking).

Comment by chicklet

It is okay to be ready to have your little one….I cannot wait to hear the news.

Comment by M

I hear ya girl. I’m kind of resigned to the idea that Stumpy is going to be late so maybe I’ll get a nice surprise. I’d be quite happy for him to come out now though.

Comment by Caro

Although it’s great that you were able to start your leave early, and you would have been miserable and in pain at work, I think it makes it much harder when you are at home all day.
Take heart that these emotional meltdowns are probably caused by rising hormone levels, meaning that wee one will be arriving soon. Looking back, I can see that the closer I got to Z’s birthday, the crazier I felt and acted.
Looking forward to the announcement! Now go knit one more baby blanket!

Comment by furrow

oops! sorry! Forgot that you can’t knit with the carpal tunnel :-(

Comment by furrow

Don’t apologize for your feelings. They are completely understandable!!!
Hopefully, wee will get here soon to give you some relief. You have been uncomfortable for quite a while now!

Comment by Lady In Waiting

Oh I can TOTALLY relate to how you must be feeling – and I have a ways to go yet! I don’t have any assvice for you, but please go easy on yourself.

Comment by Ms. Planner

I do wonder why babies can’t just, I don’t know, DOZE for the last few weeks, as they SO do not have room to kick and what they are kicking, is, in fact, their mama’s vital organs.
Nearly there. Lovely to hear from you, glad everyone’s well, and hopefully very soon you’ll be tellng us all about Wee’s birthday. Best of all best wishes for that.

Comment by May

Oh hon. Late pregnancy is HARD on your body. And your mind.
Hugs – hang in there. You’re almost there.
Wee… if you’re listening… help your mommy out and maybe make an appearance?
Thinking of you.

Comment by serenity

Here’s hoping you get to meet wee sooner rather than later…and that you’ll find a few comfortable moments in the mean time. Hang in there! Just keep thinking of the end result!
much love,

Comment by Equipoise

No need to apologize. I would imagine that the end of pregnancy is so physically taxing. I’m hoping my 5 weeks off at the end of my pregnancy will help with that–at least that is what I keep telling myself.
Hoping Wee comes out and says “Hi!” soon! :)

Comment by Road Blocks and Roller Coasters

I can’t for the life of me figure why any woman who was conscious during the last two weeks of pregnancy would consent to do it again. I was on the verge of taking hostages. My doctor actually looked at me with a straight face and suggested that sex is believed to jump start labor. I almost punched her.
Moan all you want, it’s almost over.

Comment by carlarey

I hope it comes soon! I know I’m ready myself…

Comment by mrs spock

I hope it comes soon! I know I’m ready myself…

Comment by mrs spock

I’m sorry these last few weeks are so uncomfortable for you. Hoping the wee one is in your arms very soon. xoxoxoxo

Comment by Nikole

Good to hear from you again.
Soon, soon – hang in there. Next post might be the birth announcement!

Comment by Bea

Hoping for big news soon!

Comment by SaraS-P

Hoping for a speedy, easy birth. (c’mon baby, get with the program)

Comment by niobe

Wee! Get a move on! There’s lots of people waiting to meet you.
Hope you are doing well, and already holding your bay bay.

Comment by carlarey

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