exile in kidville

oh for f&%$’s sake
December 15, 2009, 1:57 pm
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i offer no excuses. 

things have been busy and good.  Auden is the most amazing human on the planet.  feel free to disagree with me.  i know i’m biased.  he’s just such a little PERSON these days.  i know he has always been a little person, but he is simply EXPLODING inwards and outwards these days. 

he’s transitioned from the infant centre to the toddler centre at day care, and transitioned well.  he now eats snacks and lunch in a little CHAIR at a little TABLE and naps in a small BED.  so cute.  so awesome. 

he’s home with his daddy this week as daddy is on vacation and mommy is (hardly?) working.   i miss him.

we spent just under a week in Tofino in the end of November.  it was awesome, though sleep destroying. 

today i’m perhaps 10 DPO.  simultaneously hopeless and hopeful.  went and got my flu shots anyway.  i’ve one day left on my fertil1ty fr1end VIP membership.  considering renewing immediately for possible murphy’s law benefits.  then again, i’ve been putting a lot of faith in such mysterious and flawed benefits for the past couple of months with no result.  sigh. 

i tell you this, a second line would be an awesome christmas present.  i’m getting so tired of trying. 

i hope you all are well. 

for more timely updates and photos, befriend me on facebook:  m e g a n l i s b e t h @ s h a w (dot) c a  [without the spaces, natch]



CD11 update on CD3
October 22, 2009, 11:24 am
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i can’t tell you todays date and can barely remember that it is thursday, but i CAN tell you that it’s CD11.

my blood work results came back yesterday.

FSH 3.4
Estradiol 31.06 *

*if this site‘s information about converting my Canadian results (114 pmol/L) to American measurements can be trusted.

and if this site is to be trusted, those numbers are kind of awesome, right?

still processing the doula workshop.  aside from being awesome, it brought up a lot of stuff for me.  stuff i thought i was “over.”  turns out i’m still not okay with our birth experience.  i know this is my blog and i can cry if i want to about whatever i want, but for some reason i’m wary of dealing with it here as i know some of you are still deep in the trenches and likely don’t want to listen to me talk about how messed up i still am about requiring interventions while i birthed my healthy child.  then again, i need to do it somewhere so i can put this in a place that is more dormant than it is now.  perhaps if i publish with a disclaimer at the top?


birth doula
October 19, 2009, 9:00 pm
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…at your service.

lots more to do before actual DONA certification, but the workshops are over, and technically i could in fact be your doula.

i have a lot to report.  i’m still trying to wrap my head around some of it.  


happy thanksgiving!
October 12, 2009, 12:54 pm
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we had the most wonderful day yesterday.  we went to the apple barn then barged in on some old friends for a while, eschewed naps, played a lot, drove a lot to get back home, then went out for a nice dinner where Auden managed to captivate several ladies from across the room.

today is thanksgiving, and a little less pleasant as we tend to necessary chores, but we’re heading to  a friend’s for turkey dinner tonight.   husband is upstairs trying to get Auden to nap with him….we have to hope that works or we will have a little bear on our hands tonight….another routine destroying night after a routine destroying day.  what else are holidays for, right?

in other, less thankful news — CD1 today.   the cycle, she begins again.

October 8, 2009, 1:28 pm
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requisition for day three blood work acquired.    however, now that i’m looking at the thing, i see that it is only for FSH and estradiol.   do i also want TSH?   i kind of do, right?

if so, i could easily tick the TSH box on my requisition.  is there an ethical (or otherwise) issue that i should concern myself with before i edit?

October 8, 2009, 9:41 am
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9 DPO today.  how i feel about this depends on which side of me you ask.

cynical/logical me is going to the GP today to ask for a requisition for Day 3 blood work and a metformin refill.  cynical/logical me is certain that this cycle is a bust, AF is round the bend, and scoffs at the other side of me.

stupid/hopeful me notes that i have been nauseous since yesterday morning, couldn’t eat my tuna sandwich for lunch for fear of hurling, and is still woozy as i type this.   i typically don’t have any issues with nausea. 

cynical/logical me crinkles up such notes and assures herself that this is mere coincidence.  she also notes that 8 DPO is likely WAY too early for any wooziness to be of happy consequence.

stupid/hopeful me can’t help but notice that i have also been very burpy and refluxy.  again — not common.  though i was all the time when i was…well, you know.

cynical/logical me points again at coincidence and that bit about 8/9 DPO.

stupid/hopeful me was not unhappy to note that she is feeling, um, a bit blocked this morning, though feels it rude to expand on that.

cynical/logical me is again chalking it up to coincidence and the simple fact that not so much food was ingested yesterday, and also feels it might be rude to expand further.   she is also fond of reminding the other one that it is ONLY 9 DPO so shut it already.

cynical/logical me would also like to remind stupid/hopeful me that her pants only came off for babymaking once during the last monitor defined fertile phase and that during said event there were happenings that might make conception a bit difficult.

stupid/hopeful me merely wants to eat/wretch/burp.  


my LPs have been short since the return of AF so there will be a resolution here in a day or two anyway.  in the mean time, i’m sure the two sides will continue their battle.   so tiresome.

September 30, 2009, 3:53 pm
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it’s finally fall.  i love fall.  fall is more about a rebirth for me than spring is.   it’s a time for re-connecting with so many things.   re-connecting with my mom who was just here for a week’s visit.  re-connecting with wool as it is seriously time to knit.  re-connecting with jeans, knee-socks, and sweaters.  re-connecting with nature as i’m one of those gals who would rather shun the sun.   re-connecting with all things birth-support related as my doula course is coming up.  re-connecting (or really connecting in new ways) with Audie as he explores the new colours, textures, and feel that autumn brings.   his new thing is smelling flowers.   i love it.   he wants to go to our neighbours yard that has tons of flowers so he can smell them.  every leaf he picks up, he smells…..all with the sweetest look on his face.   my love for that boy is so much bigger than anything i’ve ever known, and somehow keeps growing.   my heart is bigger than i ever knew. 

operation sibling likely a bust again this cycle.   one well-timed go, though it was perhaps poorly….um…contained?  did i just go overboard on the TMI scale?  :)

hope you are all welcoming fall and all of it’s glories.