exile in kidville

January 13, 2010, 2:56 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

hanging on, trolling through my own archives…again…as one does. i was relieved to find that my symptoms were just as come and go and that i had moments where i was sure all was lost when pregnant with my now very much alive son.

i’m trying extra hard to just believe in this baby. that sounds like it should be so simple, so why can’t i reliably do it? i’m sure there are women out there who have experienced loss then continue on, knowing that there is no known reason to believe that history will repeat itself. why can i not be that woman? i’m not protecting myself from anything with the terrified, negative thinking. the more time passes the more desperate i become for everything to be okay. i just really wish i could be that woman and have some simple, easy feeling faith. alas. she may be in my future, but likely not until after the anatomy scan at 19 weeks (see? i sneaked in some easy-breezy optimism there!)

until saturday, i leave you with this face….


7 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Adorable. Hoping that this works out just as perfectly as that picture.

Comment by Mrs. Hope

Thinking of you.

Comment by caro

Good ol’ archives. That’s what they’re for. One post at a time…


Comment by Bea

He is so gorgeous!

Here’s hoping those moments of brightness and optimism become more and more frequent for you.

Comment by carlarey


Comment by sharah

Where are you packing him off to? Adorable little hitchhiker.

I get it. I finally started believing after the 9 week ultrasound (my second). And on days like this, when I’m sick and Z got me up at 445 am, I think, eh, two kids would be nice, but if it doesn’t work it, this one is like having 4. I’m so going to hell for that. Yep.

Comment by furrow

You this becomes another darling child…

Comment by mrs spock

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