exile in kidville

August 12, 2009, 8:42 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized
not that one.  that one.
not that one. that one.

i miss auden so much when he is at daycare and i’m at work.  so, so, so much.  

i’m lucky though.  i have a good daycare situation.  i’m only working 70% (tues-thurs and alt fridays), so Auden is only in care three days/week.  also?  his centre is on campus so i go over and nurse him after he wakes up from his morning nap.  still?  i miss him.  it’s perhaps exacerbated by the fact that my job is beyond dull.   i’m bored and hate that i have to sit here being BORED instead of being with my kid.  then again, i don’t know what job wouldn’t be more boring than hanging out with Auden so perhaps i should just shut it.  i sit here and try to focus on the positives — good benefits, good boss, 70% reduced appointment, on-site daycare….and that is where i get all looped up because i wish he didn’t have to be in care at all.  but he is and that is where we are so i’m dealing.  not always well, but dealing. 

i can’t believe my baby is 15 months old. 


he’s amazing.  he’s funny, sweet, and loving.  he also has a funny cautious streak in him.  he RUNS through our house when he is pushing one of his carts…but he hasn’t figured out that he can let go so he’s not walking on his own yet.  i KNOW fundamentally that this is okay, but i can’t help but worry.  i look at him and i see how happy, healthy, and active he is, and i know he is fine, and i know that he could with all likelihood walk without his cart if he would just LET GO, but he just isn’t ready.  and i worry some more.  Auden seems to be the kind of kid who does everything all at once.  teeth?  he practically got all eight of them at once.  signing?  nothing for eons, then we were getting four clear signs all in one week.  i suspect that once he lets go of the cart he will simply begin sprinting and once he starts talking it will be complete sentences.  i know i’m not supposed to compare my baby to other babies, but i ask you, how are you supposed to avoid it?

let’s look at cute pictures to distract us:



not letting go
not letting go


multitasking (his hand to his ear means he is on the phone of course)

multitasking (his hand to his ear means he is on the phone of course)

 okay, so that was more than i planned on, but it has been a while, no?

more soon.  CD 6 has come and gone and the monitor has yet to ask me for a stick, so i’m hoping that it too is on the penny-pinching bandwagon and is trying to keep me at 10 sticks.  that or it knows that my shipment of a new box has yet to arrive.  i have 10 sticks from my old box but was unsure how serious they were about only using sticks from ONE BOX for the whole cycle.  seems like a bit of a scam to me… 

here’s something funny — i told the husband the other night that we had to get pregnant soon so that Auden’s old clothes would be seasonally appropriate for the new one.  how’s that for an unsullied hope? 


12 Comments so far
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O didn’t walk for ages either – he took his first steps on his own (walking between J and I) on Memorial Day weekend, when he was almost 15 months. But didn’t walk beyond that for another month. Was the same way – cautious.

I wouldn’t worry. He’ll one day decide that walking is FINE and will just take off. And he won’t look back. :)

Comment by Serenity

I’ve been thinking about the season appropriate hand-me-downs too.

Comment by Caro

Auden is so, so beautiful. I can’t tell which is cuter, his smile or his solemn face.

Comment by May

Thank you so much, May. I think he is rather lovely too, but I am biased. Hope you are doing okay. Thinking of you. xoxo

Comment by meganlisbeth

i have the reusable wardrobe thing going for me and i sure hope you do too!

what a cutie!

Comment by Sarah

lucky! it just occurred to me as i was walking to my office that it would be nice to be able to reuse my (small) maternity wardrobe again too…. sigh. let’s hope.

Comment by meganlisbeth

Oh, that is one adorable boy. Hope he gets an equally adorable sibling soon, wardrobe compliant or not.

Comment by carlarey

So Auden is not mortally terrified of the vacuum? Lucky woman. He is such a cutie, and he’ll probably skip walking and go straight to running!

I hope I can swing a part-time arrangement for a while after my 2nd baby (confident, aren’t I?) I really don’t think I could pull off SAHM-dom, but I’d like to be less WOHM-ish. My job is dull, too, btw. Imagine that?

Comment by furrow

You know, when my daughter started walking at 10 months or some such ridiculousness, I was so amazed “look at how clever she is!” not that I thought other babies weren’t equally clever, but it was such a wonder that my kid could do this thing. Then it became just a nightmare of constant worrying about how far she’d wandered off in the minute I turned my back, how high she’d climbed (because that also started early) etc. And now? I really wish that she had waited for another few months so that I could just enjoy her without worrying nearly so much. *sigh* The grass is always greener I suppose. Or maybe it’s just a case of “damned if you do, damned if you don’t”.

I don’t blame you one bit for not wanting to do your boring job. I had a job for a while several years ago that was so boring I thought I’d die. The money was nice but – sheesh. How much boredom can one person take before they pass out on the desk?

Comment by coffeegrl

I’m such a pessimist, I gave away all of my twins newborn stuff. Slightly sad, no?


Comment by geohde

I feel the same way – the day care thing (come September) is going to kill me. KILL ME! I’m so excited to hear that you are able to nurse him during the day though – that is SO great!!!

Comment by Ali

Some great photos. Hope you can keep that hope!


Comment by Bea

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