exile in kidville

low, low, low
May 12, 2009, 10:12 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

thank god.  the stupid monitor asked for it’s 20th stick of this cycle this morning.  i went from 8 straight days of high to a much welcomed low.  i’m a bit miffed that i failed to see a peak reading, but more pleased that it stopped this parade of highs.  i *think* i actually did ovulate, but who can say with my silly body.  as this monitor is a hand-me-down (thanks again, ms. spock!) it is likely confused between my body and ms. spock’s.  i do find it a bit suspicious that it read low on the last stick on the box, but whatever.  it feels like it is through tormenting me for the month and that is just fine with me. 

in other news, i’m back at work.  not today as yesterday afternoon was a disgusting comedy of projectile vomiting from my son after he awoke from his nap.  poor little guy.  we were both absolutely covered in puke.  no daycare until he is free of ill bodily functions for 24 hours so what was supposed to be my first full day back at the salt mines is not going to happen.  i’m sad he’s sick, but happy to be home with him. 

i spared you the saga of waiting to see if we would in fact get a spot at said day care.  thank god we did — after being on the wait list since i was about 13 weeks pregnant.  the kicker is that i now have a reduced appointment and only need three days of care, but we’re paying for a full time spot as that is all they had available.  apparently there are a certain number of full time spots and a certain number of part time spots.  we’re hoping to only have to pay for part time come june but time will tell.

the transition has been brutal.  toward the end of april we began “visiting” which entailed 30-40 minute visits with mom and dad (sometimes just me) in tow.  may 4th began our true gradual entry starting with my leaving him for one hour on monday and building up to six hours by Friday.  all i can say is that it’s horrible leaving him.  i absolutely hate it.  i miss him so much.  the day care is awesome, the women who work there are truly truly wonderful, and he actually really seems to like it.  he gets excited when we walk in the door and sometimes i really have to convince him that it’s actually time to go home.  he is napping okay there too, which surprised me.  they put the babes in old english prams outside to nap.  when they showed them to me, i looked at it skeptically and declared that my child would NEVER sleep in that thing.  i was assured with a kind, knowing smile that every mom says the same thing.   sure enough, the first day he napped there i called and was informed that after a minute of rocking he went right to sleep and they even wheeled him outside even though they usually keep them inside one of the bedrooms until they get used to it.  i know these women are professionals, but seriously?  it’s amazing.  how well he is doing does please me and i’m sure it makes the transition easier, but it is bittersweet.  if he’s happy he doesn’t need me.  if he sleeps well there he doesn’t need me.  i know deep down that isn’t true, but still.  it’s brutal leaving him there.  i so wish i could stay home with him until he is school age.  unfortunately i just can’t.  the fact that i’m not very enamoured with my job doesn’t help.  not one bit.  i mutter under my breath all day about stupid librarians and stupid grad students who don’t even know what the library catalogue is.  sigh.  i miss my baby.

i keep up on all of you, though i’m lousy at showing it.  i’ll likely have more time to comment now that i’m back at work though. . .

here is auden with icing in his hair during his first birthday party.  we put the cake (i made him a delicious baby-friendly cake!) on the floor and let him and his pals have at it.  it was great fun.  what a little guy.  every day with him is just so very amazing.  i can’t believe he’s one.




3 Comments so far
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Ugh, switching back to the real word with jobs and idiots and all that. Just ugh ugh ugh!

Comment by chicklet

yeah well just try leaving your sweet baby at day care when they HATE it, scream bloody murder and sob their hearts out – and that’s just on the way there! when i actually do the drop off it’s about a million times worse! sigh. switching to nanny care at home before number 2 arrives.

Comment by sarah

Happy Birthday Auden!
I hated the first few weeks of leaving J full-time, but now, honestly, I look forward to work. He is bored to tears on the weekends here- we just don’t have the variety and the playmates.

Comment by mrs spock

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