exile in kidville


sleepy boy
August 13, 2008, 5:53 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized
thanks for all of your comments on the nurse-in.  it was a lovely afternoon.  i went with some women from my mother’s group and we all had quite a nice time.  people are such fools about this.  could there be anthing more normal or natural than feeding your baby?  i know not every mom is able to breastfeed but i believe that nursing your baby is nursing your baby be it with bottle or breast.  when a baby has to eat, a baby has to eat….even if it’s in the H&M.

little auden is sleeping the morning away right now.  we’ve had a rough couple of days with him around sleep and i think he is just up there catching up.  poor little guy.  for weeks now, i’ve been yammering about getting him on some kind of nap schedule.  in my mind, i would keep this nap schedule very strict.  it would keep him happy and rested and everything else would fall into place.  this nap schedule would be akin to nirvana for everyone in the family and perhaps dinners would begin to cook themselves and the dog could take herself for her morning walk. 

so far, no schedule.

a strict nap schedule would require me to give up some of my freedom and i haven’t been ready yet and still don’t know if i am ready.

i fear my son is suffering for my freedom.

last wednesday i kept him out with me for most of the day.  he had a total meltdown around 7pm so i put him to bed and he slept until morning (i gave him a dream feed around 12:30am).   the next day, we had dinner plans with friends so i KNEW he had to get a nap in the afternoon, so he did and the rest of the evening was fine.  friday was fine.  then there was saturday.  i can’t remember what our afternoon was like, but i know he had some short naps here and there.  even so, i couldn’t get the poor boy to go to sleep for the life of me until he was SO beyond overtired around 11:30pm.  i felt so badly as all i could do was watch him be hyper-tired-sad and fell like a terrible mother.

we’re flying out east on saturday so trying to really set up a firm schedule now is pointless. 

it has actually taken me a few days to write this post. . . i think i began on monday.  it’s now wednesday and things have been a bit better.  i’ve been watching him like a hawk and trying to get him down for naps.  we haven’t had the melt down that we had on saturday again, but it’s not completely ironed out yet either. 

i know from m0mma zen that my baby cannot become predictable until i myself become predictable. 

i’m working on it, and i think that’s the best i can do at this point…if any of you have read and successfully used one of the millions of baby sleep books out there, let me know.   as long as the solution isn’t having him “cry it out” i’m open to your suggestions. 

on saturday, we’re off to my parent’s for a week.  the main purpose of the trip was so that auden could meet his great grandmother.   she informed the family yesterday that she is not coming because he blood is too thin.  i’m so sad and mad about this.  it’s a pattern with my grandma to do this kind of thing.  i just don’t get it. i would cross the heavens and earth for the chance to hold this little guy and can’t understand why she won’t.  all she would have to do is to fly for three hours to meet us halfway at my parents house.   she’s getting older, so i hope we have another chance for them to meet.

hopefully we will all survive the plane ride…  have a good week.  hope you all are doing well. 

bumbo boy

bumbo boy

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11 Comments so far
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I think the only book we read was The Baby Whisperer, but I’m not sure we follow any particular plan. J will nap a few times throughout the day, but the times aren’t solid. At the moment, he may or may not go to sleep in the morning after eating. He usually naps late morning or early afternoon for a longer stretch of 1.5-2 hours, and then another shorter nap in late afternoon. I found that if he doesn’t have a couple naps, he’s quite fussy. We have a strict bedtime routine of a dark room, soft music, bedtime bottle, and rocking in the chair. He has no problem getting to sleep generally. As far as bedtime time, we have been following his cues. He has a tired whine that, if we catch it, we can get him to sleep by rocking him. He used to whine at 10-1030, and slowly that has worked back to 8-830.
As far as getting him to sleep without needing Mom to rock him- I have no clue. I’ve been told to put him to bed drowsy and let him settle himself, but am too chicken.

Comment by mrs spock

I keep considering consistent nap times too and then he sleeps when he sleeps.

Comment by Caro

Oh sister! I feel your pain. If she is anything, Missy is an inconsistent napper. I just try to watch her and be as consistent I can be when it comes to getting her to sleep – be it day or night. I stopped looking at the clock and I look more at her moods. This helps keep the whole process from being so frustrating.

Comment by Ms. Planner

Zo never has settled into a nap schedule, except that for quite a while she would nap every 2-3 hours, but only for 30-45 minutes. Now she sometimes takes longer, less frequent naps, but it’s still kind of random. We just have to watch her signs. If we’re out in the car and she falls asleep and really needs to nap, sometimes we have to drive around for a while. Not very economical or green, but sometimes it can’t be helped. Some babies take to a schedule, and some don’t. I wish I could help, but I think we’re all stumbling through this stuff.

Comment by Furrow

Oh, and… her blood is too thin? What does that mean?

Comment by Furrow

it’s hard to give advice, they are all so different. i think they take on a nap schedule when they’re ready, but i do buy into the idea that letting them get overtired is often times the problem (contrary as it seems). they just get to a point where they’re so tired and worked up they can’t settle down. many CIO books talk about this, but you can also soothe them down before they get tired and not have to leave them. no doubt you know all this already. good luck!

Comment by Sarah

Happiest Baby on the Block is my recommendation, just raved about it on Geohde’s blog (Mission Impossible) http://missionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com/2008/08/15/not-without-my-anus/
It’s not a sleep book per se, but it does help him settle when he’s too tired to do it himself. You have to take away the general idea and adapt it to your own selves.
We have the same prob with mum’s routine mucking baby around. You might be able to work on it to an extent, but life can be unpredictable, so you inevitably will have to deal with the fallout, too. Don’t feel too guilty.
I also think this whole predictable/self-settling thing is a long, slow learning curve for most babies. I try to let him self-settle as much as possible (as long as he’s fairly calm). Sometimes the bedtime routine happens ten times in a row. I keep telling myself it’ll pay off later – hope it does!
Bea

Comment by Bea

Ah, sleep, it’s our recent thing. I just posted about this too. The biggest thing that has worked for us is to put Thea to sleep WAAAAYYY earlier than we were – we went from her bedtime being around 10 pm to putting her down at 6:30 pm. At first it was a battle, but now, I nurse her, swaddle her, give her her paci, sway her side to side while standing in our dark hallway while singing a lullaby. Once she gets pretty drowsy, I move to the bed and rock her til she’s asleep. It used to take about an hour, but now she’s usually out in 10 min or less. Naps are still a challenge, but are getting better (most days). I find that good night time sleep promotes good daytime sleep. I focus on getting her down for a nap within 2 hours of her waking. I watch her very carefully for signs of tiredness and put her down immediately – usually 45 min to 1 1/2 hours after she wakes. 2 hours awake is max. She takes around 3-4 naps per day. They’re not really on a schedule yet, but I think one will develop.
It was hard to really change the focus on getting her the rest she needs instead of trying to get her to sleep when it fit in my schedule. We have eliminated any evening activities so that we can maintain her bedtime. Hopefully soon she will fall asleep for her dad! It’s hard, but I have seen so much improvement!
Good luck, you’ll figure out what works for you!

Comment by nikole

You are talking to the mother of the Napless Wonder. And mine didn’t sleep through the night until he started first grade. Thinking about it now makes me want to sit in a corner and tear out clumps of hair.
Sounds like your Grandmother is afraid of being upstaged by Auden. My Mom insisted that my grandmother come to Max’s 2nd birthday party, where she pretended to have a stroke.

Comment by carlarey

I only refer to Dr. Sears books. And as far as napping, my girl’s schedule is nonexistent. So long as she’s fine with that then so am I.

Comment by Nicole

I think that whatever book you read you should remember to take the general idea away with you, and often with a grain of salt. Baby Whisper and Happiest Baby are both great resources, but I found that just having the knowledge and then applying it to what worked for us worked best.
Like you, sometimes my baby’s sleep routine suffers because I want to do something. I kind of take that day by day, but do try to make time for about 2 longer naps during the day (he will often sleep in the car if we go out, but that will only be 15-20 mintures…)
What really workss for us at night is a routine: bath, naked time, massage and then nurse (hopefully) to sleep. If he doesn’t fall asleep while nursing then my husband walks and sushes him to sleep. The baby seems to know the routine, and expects to be swaddled and put to sleep. Of course it helps to do it around the same time every day…
Given that, our social life has taken a turn for the worse!! But to me it’s the price I am paying to make certain that at least I know that the baby is getting some sort of consistent sleep. (He still wakes in the night to eat…)
Good luck! Remember what works for others won’t necessarily work for you guys. It is totally trial and error, this mother thing!!

Comment by Ms. C




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