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pondering
part of the reason for my lack of blogging is that i truly don’t know what to do with this space anymore. i don’t really feel comfortable turning this space into a mommy blog, though i know that it’s my blog and it can transition as i transition…. i just don’t know. if i do decide to get some new digs and you want to know where i’ve gone to, comment saying so and i’ll keep you updated.
sometimes i still have days where the pain of infertility still just gets me. last weekend i was at our farmer’s market and just in tears. even as i pushed my own baby stroller, i was thinking about how painful it used to be for me to go there because it’s full of kids and i so desperately wanted to bring my own child there. even with that as my new reality, the tears couldn’t be kept at bay remembering those days, remembering how painful it was.
that said, we’re just doing fantastic here. i love every minute with my son. he’s just amazing….and he sleeps through the night to boot (and has for weeks now!).
this is what i do now. i gush about how amazing all of this is, and i don’t know if this is the right place for me to do that.
more soon.
xo
17 Comments so far
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exile in kidville 
I always like getting the update on how people are doing! I’m glad that you are doing well!
Comment by Samantha July 6, 2008 @ 11:45 am(It might be time to remove your pregnancy widget, though!)
I would love to know where you move to, if you choose to do so. I just opened a PW protected blog to post pics of my little fellow myself.
Comment by mrs spock July 6, 2008 @ 12:11 pmIsn’t it wonderful when they sleep at night?
I would like to follow you to a new blog.
Comment by Cara July 6, 2008 @ 12:12 pmI know what you mean about the whole infertility thing – today is a big anniversary for me and the pain of what I went through still feels fresh – especially today.
But I love my girl more than I could ever have imagined. And the whole mommy thing? So much more fun than I could’ve anticipated! Glad you’re feeling the same!
I’d love to follow you if you move :)
Comment by cofffeegrl July 6, 2008 @ 7:31 pmI’d like to follow you not least because our boys are the same age.
Comment by Caro July 7, 2008 @ 7:02 amAhh…I can totally relate. It’s most of the reason why I fully transitioned to my other blog. I have also been surprised at how raw I feel at times around the pregnancy/infertility/loss. I think I still have a bit of healing to do.
Comment by nikole July 7, 2008 @ 8:51 amGlad all is going well and that you are enjoying your baby bliss.
Aww, he’s looking great. I’m happy to hear from you, and I, for one, don’t at all mind if this turns into a baby blog. I went down that path, myself, for better or worse. If you move, though, let me know.
Comment by Furrow July 7, 2008 @ 10:17 amPlease let me know if you move. A is absolutely stunning!
Comment by cate July 8, 2008 @ 9:25 pmI worry about the same thing–posting gushy “isn’t this all fabulous” posts on an infertility blog. THe thing is, though, these blogs are about the journey; your journey. So, if you have something in that journey to share, we’ll be here to listen. :-)
Comment by Sticky Bun July 9, 2008 @ 7:05 pmGlad everything is going well with your beautiful little sleeper.
I have the same concerns about my blog. But, I would still like to read you wherever you move to.
Comment by Nicole July 10, 2008 @ 9:20 ami feellike telling the truth about the IF journey means telling the whole story. if the only truth that was out there was the bad stuff how grim would that be? so some people might chose not to keep reading, or might just pop in on their better days, that’s fine. it is what it is. and the fact is we will always be infertile. you might find you still need this to be an IF blog again someday. if you do, i’ll be sticking with you! :)
Comment by Sarah July 10, 2008 @ 5:28 pmhe’s gorgeous!!!!
Well I hope you find a way to either change this space or make a new one! I would be sad to lose contact with you! He is just adorable!
Comment by Equipoise July 11, 2008 @ 12:35 pmGlad things are well. Keep me updated!
Comment by Bea July 12, 2008 @ 3:15 amBea
Will follow you anywhere. Your son is beautiful.
Comment by May July 13, 2008 @ 12:20 pmI definitely want to be kept in the loop. He is precious and Wooo hooo for sleeping through the night.
Comment by M July 14, 2008 @ 9:58 amK always like to read the blogs of those who have been there and got out the other side. I find it reassuring. But I can understand your conflict about what to do with your blog.
Comment by Geohde July 15, 2008 @ 4:32 pmCongrats on your beautiful little boy,
J
i don’t know what the best plan is for you, but as an infertile sans child, i only go to the blogs of those with children when i’m in the headspace…i still like checking up on you and others and am so happy for you…even though it’s painful at times. if you take up residence elsewhere, please let me know, too.
Comment by shlomit August 22, 2008 @ 9:32 amhe is just gorgeous and i am thrilled for you.
peace
shlomit