exile in kidville

it never goes away
May 31, 2008, 10:17 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

for all of the happiness that i have in my life right now, i still find myself thinking about how sad this time was for us last year.  may 31st last year was my d&c for my last miscarriage.  i never dreamed then that i would be where i am now one year later.  i am indeed blessed, but still deeply mourn what was lost.

today is also our wedding anniversary.  i’m trying to take this day back and make it about Husband and I again.  may 31st needs to be about love and joy for me.  how do you change a day?

happy anniversary, husband.  i love you so much.


11 Comments so far
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Thinking of you today. Big hugs.
Still not sure how to reclaim those days. For me, they are still saturated with sadness.
Happy anniversary to both of you.

Comment by nikole

I think it makes a lot of sense that a year later, the wounds are still raw. I’m glad, though, that you and your husband can focus on some joy this year. Happy Anniversary!

Comment by Sticky Bun

I think it just takes time for the pain to diminish. Focus on the good things you have, enjoy each other, but also let yourself remember your first baby. From my own experience dealing with the loss of my brother, it gets better over time, but some years it’s just worse than others.

Comment by Samantha

Hugs. I hope you will soon be having peaceful and happy anniversaries, celebrating your love for each other. It has only been a year, and such a distractingly exciting year. I really feel for you.

Comment by May

It may not go away, but I hope you find peace with it.

Comment by Bea

Sending hugs your way.

Comment by Caro

weird how it is just like yesterday but a lifetime ago, isn’t it? happy (belated) anniversary, and cheers to a much better one this year.

Comment by Sarah

No, I don’t think it ever goes away.
Good luck reclaiming your anniversary.

Comment by Dr. Grumbles

Isn’t it strange how some wounds never fully heal? I am glad, though, that you have so much joy in your life right now.
I just read Auden’s birth story. I seriously have NO idea how you survived in labor for so long. OMG. You must have been at your wit’s end, feeling like you were losing your sanity. You are one of the most courageous people I know!!!
I am relieved that you and Auden are safe. And also happy that a c-section wasn’t needed. Each person makes her own decision, of course, but I think that forceps was preferable to a c-section.
Much love!

Comment by LIW

happy belated anniversary. it is amazing how much can change in a year. I think that – eventually – time will help you make the day about you & your husband again. You’ll have so many more adventures as husband and wife (and parents!) that soon your memory bank will overflow with the happier times.

Comment by Ms. Planner

Just wanted you to know I’m thinking about you today and hoping you are well.
I’m not commenting much but I am still checking in on your. Hugs to you and your sweet boy.

Comment by Merideth

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