exile in kidville

bad blogger. . .
December 3, 2007, 2:18 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

i had a fantastic weekend.  just grand.   i played hooky on friday.  Husband had the day off and it was supposed to be a gloriously sunny day.  as we were slated to have a snowy and rainy weekend, i couldn’t resist taking the day off and enjoying the sunshine with my Husband and puppy.  it was a great day.  breakfast, home depot, then a long walk with the puppy in the sun near the water.  and it didn’t stop there.  we then went to a movie and to dinner.  it was lovely.  the snow started the next morning and we were kind of house-bound for the rest of the weekend (it IS vancouver, you know.  we don’t know what to do with snow around here).  it was definitely the right decision to call off on friday.

would you want to beat me about the head with a blunt object if i told you that sometimes i still can’t really believe that i’m pregnant?  it’s totally okay if you do.  sometimes i wish i could do the same.  it’s just that even while i’m getting huge, i’ve basically nothing else going on.  i’ve the occasional flutter which i still think is gas half the time.  i’m feeling very little movement…which feels kind of sad.  i think it’s largely because i have an anterior placenta.  i’ve read that this can make movement less discernible.   i’ve been wishing more now that i knew if our baby is a boy or a girl.  i (obviously?) don’t care one way or the other, i just think that knowing would help me bond a bit.   it’s so irritating that i can’t know.  maybe i will pay for the 3-D ultrasound for a gender assessment….i can’t help but think it’s a scam though.  they advertise those things everywhere so it’s hard not to think of them as a money grab.  also, the anterior placenta might make it difficult for them to actually see things….i think i just need to hang on and wait until jr. is kicking me in the ribs.

now that it’s December, i’ve been thinking a lot about our last miscarriage.  i would be going on mat leave right before xmas holidays and due in early january.  the pain is definitely lessened by my current condition. . . and by my feeling i talked about before that this pregnancy is our baby coming back for a second try.  i still feel strange admitting that i think that, but it really does bring me some comfort… not to mention that i just can’t seem to shake that feeling, odd as it may be.

i am an odd girl, i suppose.  odd, but happy.  sounds good to me.


11 Comments so far
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Friday sounds lovely. I know what you mean about not believing though.

Comment by Caro

Diablo was not a kicker or a flailer. I never once had one of those “Oh, wow! I just got kicked really hard.” moments. He may have stretched once or twice, but that was about it. And I got the totally mistaken impression that we were getting a placid little soul who would be content to gaze up at a mobile and contemplate the world.
The lack of aggressive movement does make you begin to think you might have a quiet little girl in there just patiently waiting until her expected arrival date. But I imagine Wee as a boy.

Comment by carlarey

I am really happy to hear that your pregnancy is going well!!!

Comment by Lady In Waiting

I don’t think you are odd…I believe if there are thoughts that can help us cope…they are totally normal. The ones who don’t understand that everyone copes differently most likely hasn’t had to.
Glad you are feeling some movement…hopefully it will get stronger and stronger every day.

Comment by M

Friday sounds fantastic…
I admit I am tempted by those 3-D ultrasounds myself- but only if my upcoming ultrasound doesn’t show the gender. All of our friends have gotten one done- it seems like the yuppie thing to do in our town.

Comment by mrs spock

I totally feel like the baby from my two m/cs is just waiting to get the chance to come into the world, so I understand your feelings 100%.
Congrats to you on making it to the second trimester! I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes totally smoothly.

Comment by Megan

I’m enchanted that you felt Wee move. Splendid!
My sister insists she never quite believed she was actually pregnant until she went into labour. Despite the fact Minx was practically kicking her spleen up through her diaphragm by week 30.

Comment by May

Doesn’t sound odd to me at all–not one bit. And, I’m with you on the forgetting I’m pregnant thing. (Except when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror…)
And good for you for taking the mental health holiday on Friday!! Those are way underrated!

Comment by Sticky Bun

if you’re like me, you wont totally believe until a few days after delivery. and even then the word “mother” will sound really foreign.

Comment by Sarah

I have to say that I find it comforting to think of it as my baby coming back for another try. VERY COMFORTING!

Comment by Nicole

For me, it started to feel a lot more real when I could feel what I was absolutely certain was the baby. Now that I’m feeling regular kicks, jabs, and stretches, and it’s time to start preparing for baby’s arrival, it’s starting to get very exciting. Give it a few weeks — I’m confident you’ll get there, with or without knowing the gender.

Comment by ultimatejourney

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