exile in kidville


ahhh, weekend.
October 26, 2007, 12:20 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

i’m SO ready for this work-week to be over.  ugh.  i’m teaching a lot this month and it’s getting to me.  the big (and thankfully, final) push of classes is next week.  the good part is that i have some temp librarians helping me and teaching some of the tutorial sections.  that’s also the bad part though as it means that i had to script out my the entire class.  as the type of gal who usually teaches by the seat of her pants (if they actually stay on, that is), it was difficult to plan the whole thing out.  i did it though, and now i suppose i just have to busy  myself with other more usual things and wait for next week to end as well.  after that, we’re on holiday.  we’re heading to tofino next tuesday for three nights.  i’m taking the whole week off though.  i need a break, and since we’re not going to europe anymore, i’ve lots of holiday time left to use. 

so, i’m back in my regular jeans…i’ve only one pair that really fits me okay now though, and that’s with the be11a band.  alas.  better this than hiking up my pants a bazillion times in front of a class of first year undergrads….

so, my secret is now really and truly out and about in the library.  get this though — no fewer than FOUR people have asked me if we planned this.  HAAAAAA.  are you joking?  i mean, yes, in a sense this pregnancy was indeed a surprise in that it came SO close to my last miscarriage and was even more unexpected than ANY pregnancy has been or would have been.  but come ON.  i was simply floored that people still ASKED that question in the first place.  i remember how much that question upset my mom when she was asked it. .  . over 20 years ago when she was pregnant with my sister.  regardless, it just gives me more fodder to go on and on about how Husband and i have wanted this for a long time, that this was VERY planned, etc.  i even told one person that we lost a couple of pregnancies before this one…  i couldn’t believe myself, but then again…it’s not like i provided any details, and i’m the first one to lament the fact that miscarriage is such a taboo topic of conversation, so why not?  well, it is actually a very quick way to make the person who was just congratulating you moments ago VERY uncomfortable.  oh well.  so be it.  maybe it’s my own way of doing a little bit of awareness work.  i really can’t say.  i just know that it is IMpossible for me to receive a congratulations from someone without expanding a little bit on how long we’ve waited and how long we’ve wanted this.  i just can’t do it.  much like i wasn’t able to actually TELL anyone myself.  i had to let my friend be the official bean spiller around here.  it feels like it’s an additional safety net i’m providing for people….if my announcement hurts, they don’t have to fake it in front of me.  they don’t have to approach me AT ALL if they can’t/don’t want to.  as i mentioned before, this is a remarkably child-free workplace, and i just can’t help but feel that i should be as sensitive as possible, even if people don’t understand why.

i rescheduled my detailed ultrasound yesterday.  it was originally going to happen when i’m 18w0d, but i phoned the birth clinic and talked to them a bit about the timing and i moved it up a week.  i still won’t be able to find out which variety of baby we’re having (officially anyway) but am hoping that if the tech sees he/she will let it slip in some way or another.  the clinic told me that the sex isn’t always part of the u/s report either, so we’ll see.  we may end up being surprised.  the u/s is scheduled for 23 November.  that’s a long time to wait… 

while i still have fears that this is all could go sideways at any moment, i suppose that in some ways i’m relaxing into things.  i keep reminding myself that i heard the heartbeat at 14 weeks and that is a very, very good sign.  there’s little else that i can do right now. 

we start our group prenatal care 16 November.  we’re both looking forward to it.  the only bad thing is this — an old friend and former roommate of Husband’s is pregnant with her second and will be in the SAME GROUP as us as she is also due next April.  this would be okay, but this woman drives me INsane.  she talks NONstop and just generally drives me up a tree with all of the incessant chatter.  i’m afraid that her being there will interfere with what we were really hoping to get out of the group — meeting new people.  i just have to not let that happen somehow.   we knew that she was getting her care from the same clinic but as she has been through the group before with her first child, we assumed that she would skip it this time.  sadly not.  she *did* email Husband once she found out that we were in the same group to ask if we were okay with her and her partner being in the group with us, and he responded that all was well…. that distressed me at first, but really?  what else could he have done?  she’s not a terrible person, she just NEVER STOPS TALKING and manages to take over every conversation there is.  i can just hear her now talking over the doctor or midwife at the group. . .  argh.  i just have to put my big girl pants on and deal with this. . . and NOT let her ruin this for me.  that will be the key…i tend to focus on the negative when people are bothering me, so if you have any tips on tuning an excessive talker right out, they’re more than welcome. 

speaking of someone who NEVER STOPS TALKING, i suppose this post is lengthy enough by now, no?  have a great weekend everyone….and join me on pins and needles waiting for Furrow’s baby to join us….but not before Monday because her doula is 2.500 miles away until then!   

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8 Comments so far
Leave a comment

It must feel weird sharing the success after going through 2 miscarriages. I remember you saying after the last one how you had wished you had shared more about your pregnancy earlier so that people could share in the joy as well as the sorrow. Pregnancy is scary, and it’s probably tough for folks to be reminded that things don’t always turn out well, but good for you for raising awareness!

Comment by Samantha

Thanks for the shout out! We’re still here waiting, by the way, which is ooookay…
I got those bizarre “was it planned” questions from a few people, too. It is funny, and pretty rude, actually. What if it wasn’t?
At my library, we had a classload lull, and now next week is crazy busy again. Too bad I won’t be there… mwahhahhaha!
Enjoy your week off.

Comment by Furrow

My response when people asked if ours was planned…”Oh my God! You mean someone would plan to do this? On purpose?”
As for the chatty ex-roomie, those folks running the class can be pretty good at shutting up the know-it-alls. And since she has done it already, she may just drop out.

Comment by carlarey

I’d go with the ‘why do you need to know if it was planned or not?’
Apart from anything else, I’d love to know if anyone has a good and sensible reason for asking.
No advice on talky lady. I have grandious plans of how I will Take A Stand and Make A Statement and I always wimp out. Hopefully one of the other women will be feeling extra-hormonal and will just tell her to shut up. That’d be good.

Comment by May

My theory is, if people have the gall to ask if it was planned, then they deserve to hear every gory detail.
Yes, I had a hard time (still do) not telling every single person who hears the news about how difficult it was for us to achieve this pregnancy. After a while, though, I realized I was doing it more to get a pat on the back than to spread awareness, so I tried to keep details on the down low.

Comment by Ann

I always find it odd that people think it’s OK to ask a pregnant woman whether the pregnancy was planned. How is that at all relevant? During my ultrasound after miscarriage #2, the technician asked whether I had retained placenta as a result of the abortion. Uh, what?

Comment by Nicole

People are really amazing with their inappropriate questions. I always get people looking at me knowingly when I tell them about both stickies and it just pisses me off. Why can’t they just say “congratulations” and leave it at that? argh…

Comment by Sticky Bun

Planned? HA HA, HA HA HA!

Comment by chicklet




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