exile in kidville


the strange dreams continue…as do the qualifications.
October 22, 2007, 12:03 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

i had my first (?) birth dream last night.  it was strange indeed.  first of all, a friend of mine who is due in November was chastising me for wanting an epidural.  she kept telling me that i was going to be a horrible mother because i wanted the drugs…shortly thereafter, i was wandering around the mall attached to the hospital (because all hospitals have malls attached, right?) in a gown with my arse hanging out.  eventually i was at a candy store at the end of the mall furthest from the hospital when my water broke.  all. over. the. place.  i was quite apologetic, and husband and i were trying to clean it up with some paper towels.  lovely.  then it took hours and hours to actually get back to the hospital.  once we got back there, my kitty promptly woke me up.  thank goodness.

i’ve also allowed the rumour-mill here at work to start churning…a few people already knew that i was pregnant and after thursday’s doppler i told them that they could tell others.  i’m not going to do any kind of big announcement, i’m just going to let the word spread.  i don’t know of any other way to do it. . . not that i could handle anyway.  with everyone i tell, i find myself including a short spiel on how Husband and i have wanted this for a very long time, that we’re so lucky, etc. etc.  i just can’t seem to leave all of that out.  also, i can think of three other librarians here who do not have kids due to IF issues (though i’ve only talked with one of them about it).  most of the other librarians (there are about 26 of us) don’t have kids either….it’s kind of strange.  here i am in a woman-dominated profession, and the most recent baby born to a librarian (in march or so?) — while being employed here — was the first in about 25 years.   so i don’t know.  it’s almost surprisingly uncomfortable telling people.  i found myself doing the same thing at a work party for Husband on friday….constantly reminding people that we’ve wanted this for a long time.  i can’t seem to stop with the justifications. 

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7 Comments so far
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I did that a lot myself at first. I had to qualify it with the struggle. You’ll probably do it less as time goes on.
Indeed, libraries are weird, highly barren places to work (by choice and chance).

Comment by furrow

Yep – the same thing happened to me too – I felt like had to qualify it or something.
The telling people does get easier over time, though. At least, it did for me.

Comment by serenity

I know what you mean, even before we’ve started telling people (except those who knew about the IVF). In one way, I think it’s that I want people to know I’m not bubbly pregnant woman, and why, so they’ll know how to talk to me etc etc. If I’m honest, I also kinda want a little extra than a “that’s nice”. I want them to appreciate the bigness of the event.
Bea

Comment by Bea

Hey there Megan,
Just making a quick stop to say hi. And, for what its worth, I think I like the idea of a mall connected to the maternity ward!

Comment by Nicole

I agree with Bea, I sort of wanted a little recognition for the effort. It was unbelievable how many people assumed that I got pregnant by accident. Funniest comment though was, “Don’t get me wrong, but I never pictured you as a nurturer.”

Comment by carlarey

While I’m not there yet, I think it makes sense. I don’t know that I want to tell either, or that I could without explaining cuz they should KNOW what this took – that’d be hard to shake.

Comment by chicklet

I work in a child-free library too – bizarre, isn’t it? All these women in their 20s and 30s and not so much as a twinkle of baby-dust (thank heaven. I’m not in a baby-dust mood most days). If I ever got pregnant I already feel I’d have to spend forever telling everyone how difficult and unexpected it was. I totally understand that.
(Mind you, my job-share partner has a new grandson. I adore her and her grandson is lovely and she doesn’t get all nosy, but her wallpapering our shared desk with cuddly baby photos made me twitch. And, wimp that I am, I was so glad when she took them down the next week all unprompted. But I digress).
Anyway, big hugs. Hope the rumour mill goes easy on you.

Comment by May




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