exile in kidville


empty house, full belly
October 10, 2007, 2:29 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

thanksgiving has come and gone, as have my parents.  we had a lovely visit.  i miss them so much.  it was a bit easier leaving them at the airport this time though because we’re going to be seeing them again in december.  we fly out on the 24th…  it’s hard living so far away from family. 

so, i’m back — out and about in the blog-o-sphere….i’ve much to catch up on. 

i also want to throw some more love out there for every single one of you.  love, thanks, and gratitude.  you’re all the best. 

i realize that i have now been spending a lot of time asking, "what would you do?"  about pregnancy issues.  i suppose that is part of the natural change of the blog as it relates to my life.  i don’t think there is much that i can really do to change that as all of our blogs change as our situations change, right?  that said, i of course want to remain (?) a sensitive soul.  i’m grateful to each and every one of you and cannot wait to be there for you when you get a second line, paper pregnant, or any other joyous milestone along your path. 

we’re telling more and more people which is a bit terrifying as the last time had any confirmation that i was still knocked up was two weeks ago.  i know, i know.  even i’m getting sick of my skepticism…as is husband.  it’s hard though.  i suppose i’m just still trying to protect myself, and i haven’t really reached the point where i can stop doing that no matter how fruitless it would be should we get bad news. 

but we won’t.

see?  i’m trying to stop all of the skepticism and doom-saying.  also?  i say that i don’t "feel pregnant" and in a way i don’t.  in others, i do, but i somehow block that out which is COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS.  i should be savouring them.  for example, i can feel my uterus.  and i don’t mean when looking for it.  i mean that i can feel it when i’m walking around.  if i really want to feel it, i lay down on my back.  it’s a sense of fullness that makes me really happy….and full. 
otherwise, b**bs still only moderately sensitive and they haven’t changed a bit (but i’ve always been rather well endowed there…so maybe they’re big enough already!).  tired…still very very tired.  and i hiccup.  a lot.  loudly.  without warning.  it’s rather embarrassing.   

anyway, as i was saying. . . we’re telling more and more people.   i tell most of them what a shock it was, especially since we just had a loss, etc. etc.  nearly every one of them, no matter how supportive they were in the past, essentially says something akin to "see?  you just had to forget about it and it just happened!" or "see?  you just had to relax a bit and not focus so hard on trying to get pregnant!"  who would have thought that the "just relax" genre of comments would hang on even now that i’m pregnant?  it’s really irritating.  i try to correct them but find it too exhausting most of the time.

and have i mentioned that i’m tired already? 

okay.  off to catch up on all of you.  if i don’t get to commenting, bear with me.  i’ll be back in full swing shortly.  xoxo 

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11 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Sounds like you had a lovely visit with your parents–I miss mine when they leave after a visit too–its like Im not quiet grown up when they are here=)

Comment by JJ

Oh, I definitely think you are a sensitive soul — one of the many things about you which I appreciate. I’m happy that you are trying to let go some of your skepticism but understand completely that it will be a process.

Comment by Merideth

Glad you had a great visit and maybe a minor way to distract yourself in little bits and spurts.
On telling people, wow, it’s so real now!!! Congrats!

Comment by chicklet

Glad you had a good Thanksgiving!

Comment by Samantha

Oh, the just relax people drive me nuts. And the worst? Now that it is years in the past, my husband seems to have no memory of any difficulty in conceiving. He thinks it was a breeze, probably since no one shot laser beams up his hoo-haa. He seriously now thinks I got pregnant after our first month of trying.

Comment by carlarey

Those comments about relaxing would drive me mad. Will people ever give up the fantasy that it is that easy??
Glad that your belly is full in more ways than one!
XOXO

Comment by Lady In Waiting

I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and just wanted to say that I’m so happy about your new pregnant self and I appreciate your candor and humor! I look forward to that full-uterus-feeling in the future! Hugs… ;)

Comment by Sarah

Glad you had a great thanksgiving with the folks. I honestly was never able to get over the “what ifs” of pregnancy after loss with my pregnancy with A. I hope that you do. But if you don’t, that is okay too.

Comment by cate

yeah i’m with you, there’s no point in trying to get people to understand, they just won’t. the other line of thought makes them feel much better, so be it.
your babystrology ticker is looking like a real little baby now!

Comment by Sarah

Good lord–I would be infuriated by that genre of “just relax” comment. Ugh.
I’m SO glad that everything is going well. And I hear you about the tiredness. I keep reading that in the second trimester you’re supposed to get all this energy back…I don’t buy it. I still fall asleep on the couch every night. But, it’s a happy kind of tired. :-)

Comment by Sticky Bun

I’m glad things are going well and you’re starting to let go of the fears. It definitely takes time.
I can’t believe people are making comments about relaxing when you tell them you’re pregnant. I’d probably shake them :)

Comment by ultimatejourney




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