exile in kidville


CD16 **updated**
July 23, 2007, 12:04 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

and this morning i came across what is a rare occurrence around here….a substance i *think* just might have been EWCM.  this led to a loud "what the fuck?!?" coming from the washroom in the early morning hours.  i never see this stuff.  my lack of familiarity with it could also mean that it is something else entirely.  Or nothing at all.

i was going to say that i know that we’re supposed to be on a break, but i suppose i don’t really know that.  i know that there are no medical reasons for us to wait….especially given that i’ve already had a post-D&C period, but otherwise i’m not so sure.  should we wait for the results of our karotype tests?  wait for the pathology report on my last miscarriage?  wait for cotton candy to start falling from the sky? 

i just don’t know.  i’ve been charting my temp, and have peed upon a few opks….no cl0m1phene right now, but am still on met. 
i just have no idea, but i know that my gut reaction is to go for it.  husband is already on notice that he might be called to duty tonight.  we’ll see what the opk brings….

what would you do?  go for it or tell him to keep it in his pants because i’m tired?  :)

also, i have to vent about my SILs birthday dinner on saturday night.  you may remember a long time ago i told you the story of going for dinner at Husband’s Mom’s house with Husband’s friend P and his pregnant wife?  and how i was so surprised and touched that P asked Husband how much baby talk would be too much and all?  well, scratch that.  first of all, i was trying to arrange it so that i wouldn’t be sitting too close to the expectant couple.  i might have been fine with my preggo hairlady, but P’s wife and i have little to talk about which would really leave only her pregnancy to discuss and i wasn’t in the mood.  however, despite my efforts, i ended up sitting right beside her, and kitty corner to her husband P.  i thought i might have to kill him during that dinner.  seriously.  P is a bit goofy and oafy at the best of times but that night he was on oaf overdrive.  the incidents are too numerous and tiresome to get into, but two that stand out are:  1) him going on and ON about wanting to put a santa hat on his wife so he could watch her rub her belly and say "ho ho ho."  "wouldn’t that be funny?  really, that would be so funny!!  just try it now baby, say ho ho ho.  hahahah  wouldn’t that be great?  ho ho ho!"  OKAY.  SHUT UP.  you are NOT funny.  2) recounting their most recent ultrasound and going on and ON about how UGLY their baby looked and how SCARY and on and on and on until i finally had to simply excuse myself.  seriously now shut.  the fuck.  up.  i couldn’t take it.  i would give ANYTHING to see a living baby on an ultrasound and you’re sitting here going on like this?  fuck off. 

okay.  i’m done.  thank you.  i had to get that out. 
so, happy monday to all of you.  i hope your weekends were good.  thanks for all of your support regarding changing doctors.  i put in a call on friday but have yet to hear back from the clinic.  i was particularly thrilled to receive a comment from chicklet who had a similar experience and herself dumped the very same bitch RE.  my resolve is set more now than ever. 

also?  let me know what you would do….wait for test results or get busy with the trying…

**update** and new question that i know i already know the answer to.
i just got off the phone with my fertility clinic.  the RE that i know i want to see is not taking appointments until october.  there is also a brand spanking new (as in just completed her RE fellowship in 2007 new) doc who i could get into sooner.  my initial reaction was to phone the secretary for the brand spanking new one, but now i’m doubting that decision.   i’m just tired.  also tired of a) new doctors in general and b) not-nice doctors.  do i really need another unknown at this point?  i’m thinking no.  october isn’t really that far away, is it?  if i count july as over, that’s only two months away and we’re looking to be away the first two weeks of september anyway.  now, i know that sometimes brand spanking new can be good.  keen, new ideas, etc. etc.  then again, new in that sense can be bad.  do i gamble on new because i won’t have to wait so long for an appointment or do i wait for the doc with years of experience who i know for certain to be very, very nice and who is also happens to be co-director of the clinic?  i’m thinking that waiting would be fine at this point.  what’s two months?  what do you think? 

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13 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I would get busy with trying but thats just me.
Sorry you had a crappy time at dinner Sat night – I HATE those nights :)

Comment by Meghan

Channel your Fresh Princeness (or DJ Jazzy Jeffness, if you prefer) and get busy, baby. — Wow. That was a scary flashback. — Your body wants it. Just try to make it fun. Maybe put on some late 80s soft rap?
And the stupid friend — What a dumb fuck.

Comment by furrow

Dude, furrow said it best. I have absolutely nothing to add.
(though personally I’d throw on a little George Michaels. Nothing like a gay guy singing “I want your sex” to get me in the mood…)
(Yes, I am TOTALLY kidding.)
and yes. I’m with furrow. He was a DUMB.FUCK.

Comment by serenity

I vote for trying too.
And yes, crappy friend. Sorry.

Comment by ultimatejourney

Get busy, but only if you feel up to it. There is nothing worse than Bataan Death March Sex. Believe me.
And I’d wait for that October appointment. It’s who you want, and you’d always wonder if you didn’t go to see her first.

Comment by Adrienne

I agree, get busy if you feel like it. Having regulated se.x right now seems like it would be too much pressure so do it only if you’re in the mood.
Thoughts on new doc. Is there any way you could get a quick consult with the new kid on the block just to see what kind of vibe you get?

Comment by Merideth

I’d be so torn… fresh out of school means fresh ideas… but then you don’t know if you’d get along… I just don’t know! I like the idea of getting a consult with the new doc just to see…
Your friend? Definitely a DUMB.FUCK!

Comment by Chili

if you’re already worked up about whether to try now or wait for test results, october must feel really far away. you make a good case for waiting with all your plans between now and then, but i personally had a good new doc experience. at my clinic, they all make the major decisions as a team, so i wasn’t getting any less experience. if yours works that way too, then bedside manner is possibly even more important, in which case you have to decide whether you’d rather have the co-director who you already know is fabby, or if you’re willing to try out the new blood.

Comment by Sarah

I’d wait for the doc you know you like. At some point you’ll have an encounter with the newbie and see what she’s like. The right doc is too important to the process.

Comment by carlarey

It’s such a tough call. If you’ve got your mind set on one doc, though, it might be worth the wait. (And, if s/he is booked until October, that’s probably a pretty good sign.) At the end of the day, doctor technique and care is pretty important in this biz…
just a thought…

Comment by Sticky Bun

Some people, huh? Well done for not biting anyone.
As for the RE, no assvice. I have no idea what woul dbe best. But I’d trust your gut. Whenever I ignore my gut it all goes a bit errk.
Good luck.
(Also, EWCM? I have no idea what the opposite is – the excess estrogen I produce means I make it ALL THE TIME when I’m not on the pill. Not that I’m offering to lend you any. That would be… weird. Also, can you tell I drank too much coffee this morning and am burbling helplessly?).

Comment by May

To question number one: I would get busy. But I’m no good at waiting. :o)
To question number two: After all you’be been through with doctors so far, I would wait for the experienced one who you KNOW is nice.
Good luck!
XX

Comment by Equipoise

Megan – sorry I didn’t post earlier. For some reason, I couldn’t get on your blog yesterday.
I vote for gettin’ busy. Just have fun with it.
As for the RE, go with your instinct.
As for your friends, what jerk offs.
Glad you had a place to vent.

Comment by Ms. Planner




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