exile in kidville


indifference and obsession
July 16, 2007, 12:47 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

i keep forgetting to grab the damn camera in order to take part in the virtual world tour.  i suppose there is still hope for tomorrow, no?

i don’t feel like talking about my stupid body and how i don’t have a clue as to what’s going on in there these days.  nothing bad, nothing good, just still in limbo i suppose.  i don’t know why but i’ve been reliving those horrific moments of my ultrasound when they didn’t find a heartbeat.  also, i may have had a little freak out when we had a last minute invite to a BBQ at Husband’s family’s house when he wasn’t sure if his friend and pregnant wife would be there or not.  hello. i. need. to. prepare. for. these. things. 

sigh.

otherwise, i suppose things are okay here chez exile.  i quickly recovered from having eleventy million vials of blood removed from my body.  i was largely unattractive to vampires for about 24 hours afterward, but no harm beyond that.  we had kind of a quiet weekend.  i didn’t obsess (much) further about soy or its related products…..but i have decided that i need to replace my nal.gene bottle as well as my lexan coffee mug ASAP so that i don’t instantly die from all of the crap leeching out of said plastics. 

yes, i can be a bit of a nut with all of this stuff.  i go through phases….ranging from ‘oh my god everything in the universe is giving me cancer RIGHT NOW’ to simply ‘fuck it.  pass me a whack of soy milk in a #1 plastic bottle and when you’re finished, light my smoke.’   i know that it’s all about moderation and doing what you can and such…. i’ve gradually replaced most of our household cleaners* with "greener" alternatives, buy some things organic and others not, shop at the farmer’s market whenever humanly possible on the weekends…..i use "organic" shampoos and conditioners, and only use local soaps and moisturizers from my favourite vendor at the farmer’s market… but of course there are a myriad of exceptions, right?  i don’t know if i trust more natural sunscreens so i still use the chemically ones.  also, my most favourite skin product ever has titanium dioxide in it.  and while i may wash with a nice locally made soap, i still use commercial grade mascara and face powder.  also?  i’m the sole occupant in my vehicle on the way to work and home…and sometimes i put on the air conditioning and leave the windows down (which makes Husband call me an eco-fucker…and i suppose he’s right.)

what are your health obsessions?

coming soon:  thoughts on motherhood.  the virtual world tour.  hysteroscopy osbsession.

*unless Husband gets to the store first. 

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8 Comments so far
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Glad to hear you’ve recovered from the blood loss. As for finding a middle ground, it sounds like you are doing it. I go on kicks. For a short time I’m all about organic and then I get tired of having to go to a certain store to get certain products and I say fuhgeddaboutit.

Comment by Merideth

I’m glad the vampires are after you again :)
I try to eat lots of fruits and veggies, and generally healthy foods, but I haven’t jumped over to organic or anything like that just yet.

Comment by ultimatejourney

Yeah, I’m the one who usually conducts the ecotrain in our house, but lately I’ve actually asked my husband to buy less organic stuff at the grocery because of the high prices. My health obsession? Hmm. Filtered water, I guess? Or at least, water that doesn’t smell funny out of the tap. Oh, and organic meat and dairy. We’ve only just started eating some meat again, but only good stuff from our CSA. I don’t like those hormones, dude. Seems they’d mess with the repro system.

Comment by furrow

And thanks a lot — you’ve got me all concerned about soy again. Trying to keep it at no more than a serving a day, anyway.

Comment by furrow

I’ve decided to go on a no-food diet, and see how that works. Since everything seems destined to kill me, or make me infertile, I thought I should cut all of it out of my diet. I’m thinking about not breathing, too. Air is just full of toxins.
(Couldn’t help myself… You know I’m on this same bandwagon with you, Megan – trying to cut everything from my diet/environment that might have a poisonous effect. It’s just wearing sometimes.)

Comment by Adrienne

I have been recovering from an eating disorder for years so I know all about food obsessions. I am in a fabulous place now, but the last rendition of my ED involved compulsive exercise to “balance” my food intake and constant worrying about whether or not I ate enough fruit and veggies. I guess that’s why I try to be a bit nonchalant. I eat relatively healthy and I try to accept the imperfections in my diet. But the concern will never fully go away, I am sure.
Maybe it is easier for you to worry about these things than about the miscarriage and IF? That would be completely understandable!

Comment by Lady In Waiting

I recently bought a whole bunch of organic, everything-friendly face-creams and shower-gels and deodorants and such. So far, they all seem very nice, and though the face-cream smells frankly weird, my face is actually less spotty these days, which makes me feel incredibly smug.
But then, I don’t use face-powder because every brand I ever tried turned my face into a pustular lake of fire, and so I had to go for that fresh-faced milk-maid puritan look whether I wanted to or no.
‘No-food diet’ – heh heh. Tempting.
Current food obsession – white bread. I shouldn’t eat it, therefore I want it with the power of 1000 suns.

Comment by May

I switched to all natural cleaning products in our house about 3 years ago and this year starting using only items like baking soda & white vinegar to clean (super old school).
And I am obsessive about eating everything organic. Shit, we even buy organic freaking butter.

Comment by Ms. Planner




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