exile in kidville

back. . . randomly
June 19, 2007, 10:29 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

hey gang.  i’m back in vancouver — a simple fact that made me very very happy when my friend C and i crossed the border on saturday.  i couldn’t even tell you why, but once i was back in canada i felt a sense of relief.  not sure why.  i heart you canada.

the trip to seattle was good, but not quite what i was expecting or hoping for.  thursday eve was nice.  i went out to dinner with C., our seattle friend M., and his girlfriend D.  friday, M&D had to go to work….but M and I went out for a secret breakfast before he went into work which was nice.  C. had much work to do to get ready for her conference in vancouver and had to spend much of the day on friday attached to her laptop — oh, and spent four hours getting her hair done at a salon down the street from our friend’s apt.  all in all, that ended up being okay.  i went back to our friend’s place and promptly fell asleep.  hard.  like 3 hour nap hard.  it was good.  i could really use one of those right now actually.  saturday night, M. and my other friend B. had to work a catering gig, but that finished up around 8 so we all met up for dinner and drinks.  M’s girlfriend got into a bit of a snit at the first place we went to and the evening was just a little tense from there on out.  M, B, C and i have been friends since we all lived in Ohio — way back to undergrad days.  M’s girlfriend puts a different feel to our getting together which i suppose is natural.  who knows?  because she was cold and grumpy we ended up in this bar that played the music so loud that you literally couldn’t hear the person next to you speak.  now that i’m the ancient age of 34 this simply won’t do.  i want to go somewhere where i can sit down, not have to stand 10 deep at the bar to get a drink, be able to hear my friends talk, and relax.  i also didn’t want to have to worry about M’s girlfriend being all sensitive and snitty.  oh well.  it happens to the best of us.  i’m glad i got to see everyone regardless.  M and i were going to have one more glass of wine when we got back to their apartment around 12:30…..then he went inside and came back out with a bottle of champagne.  suddenly it was 4am and the champagne was gone.  eek!  but nice to catch up.  C. and i hit the road after breakfast with the gang on Saturday morning.  it has been really great to see her.  we haven’t seen one another in 4.5 years.  it really hit me yesterday how much i miss her. 

saturday night in vancouver, we hooked up with husband and some friends of mine (god love husband for hanging out all evening with four ladies — all of them librarians, even) for dinner.  it was very nice — until the end when the other three women started going on and ON about how i need to go see the movie Knocked Up.  SO FUNNY. YOU MUST GO.  SERIOUSLY, YOU REALLY NEED TO SEE THIS.  yes, yes, okay, uh-huh, maybe later.  then i was again happily surprised when K (one of the ladies at dinner and the local friend who surprised me by offering to go to dr. appts with me if husband was not available) e-mailed me the next day totally apologizing for going on about that movie, and said that she was sorry if she caused me discomfort.  here is a friendship that i really need to cultivate, no?  we’ve been friends for a couple of years now but i thought it was a little more surface-y than that.  i don’t think it was obvious that i was uncomfortable while they were going on about the movie so i was really pleasantly surprised to receive that email. 

okay.  enough musing on friends and friendships. for now.

i think it is safe to say that i’m doing really well these days.  husband and i had a great quiet evening together last night…dinner at home and conversation, then a long walk with the puppy (newly groomed puppy!  remind me to show you a picture) to the dairy queen.  it was lovely.  we were talking a bit about what happened, and about friends and their reactions…..i’m really holding up quite well these days. we noted though that our appointment in early July with the OB who did the D&C will be a rough one as he will likely have the pathology report by then.  BUT, for now i’m feeling good and strong so i’m just going to go with that.  while i would much rather be in my previous condition, i’m rather enjoying not having to stick a thermometer in my mouth the instant i wake up, not having to worry about OPKs, not reading any baby/IF books (i am reading [and loving!] the time traveler’s wife but that doesn’t really count), having cocktails with friends, totally ignoring my reproductive system, and relaxing.  it’s nice.  i apparently also LOVING parentheses.

husband had a massage therapy appointment after work yesterday.  when he came home he told me that he was talking to the therapist and it turns out that she too was having trouble conceiving / carrying to term.  she’s currently pregnant, but it’s very early.  she sent husband home with a list of herbs that she said helped her.  the list is on our desk at home (this right here is your canadian tax dollars at work, my friends), but there was red clover, false unicorn root, and something else. . . . raspberry something or another.  she recommended most of them as teas i think.  i’ve heard of all of them, but never taken any.  what is your experience?  i’ve been leery because i’ve been on met since december and clomiphene too. . .  i’m afraid of the mixing.  i can ask the RE but suspect that she might be against it, though that is just an assumption because she is obviously a western medicine gal.  i’d love to hear if any of you have supplemented with herbs and what your experience was.  i know some herbs can actually be counteractive if you’re trying to conceive and that you need to be careful when you’re on other meds, but i’m curious. 

on thursday i got the good news that i can in fact switch doctors at the fertility clinic.  this is great, but the bad news is that it will take longer to get an appointment.  i’m not quite sure what that means in terms of time, but i’m happy.  who knows when i’ll actually have a CD1 again to be able to get things in motion in the first place, so i don’t think waiting a bit will hurt anything.  it would be different if i was actually having cycles and such, but as i’m kind of in that post d&c limbo, it’s just fine. 

Ms. Planner tagged me for the 8 random things about me meme that has been going around, so here goes:

1) i still sleep with my baby blanket under my pillow.  i put it away for a while in my 20’s but it came back out when i got mugged in 1996 (a story for another day, my friends) and really hasn’t been away since. 

2) i at least stopped sucking my thumb with blanket in hand. . . it took me a long time though.  i sucked my thumb until i was 10 or so.

3) i’m VERY particular about my morning routine.  everything has to be done in order or i’m wrecked for the day…. take puppy out, have tea and toast with the kitty (kitty gets a heavily buttered corner of my toast every morning — she loves it.  we bond.) while reading e-mail and cruising the internets, brush teeth, wash face, wait for moisturizer to soak in while back at the internets and finishing my tea, brush the hair, put on sunscreen**, put on the mascara, get dressed and leave.  it must happen in that order.  i used to go crazy insane if husband got on the computer while i was in the middle of my routine.  i finally told him about my crazy ways though and now he leaves me alone after a good morning hug.

3.5) **i am a lunatic about the sunscreen.  must use sunscreen.  people, my husband is asian (and therefore has t
he husband-coined ‘asian youth gene’) and will look 25 until he is 77 and wakes up one day looking like an apple-person carving which will come as a huge shock to the both of us as he has looked 25 when he went to bed the night before.  he may be 5 years older than me but still…i’m a white lady who will look 57 when i’m 62.  as long as i use enough sunscreen.  also, i’m SO pale i burn in mere seconds.  i. heart. sunscreen.

4) i’m also crazy about when i take a shower.  it has to be at night.  never in the morning.  i am like a cat in water in the morning and might have to kill all of the librarians (a frequent fantasy of mine regardless) if i have to shower in the morning.

5) while i am a librarian, i’m becoming more and more of a luddite the more i am exposed to technology.  when i was getting my MLIS i thought that i would be more on the tech end of the profession.  not so.  i don’t want to be in constant contact with the outside world….my cell phone is turned off more than it is on, and i might die if another person asks me to be their friend on facebook.  i throw up in my mouth a little every time someone mentions "web 2.0" to me…. this might be too much of a librariany random thing about me….sorry, but hey!  working!  talking about work!  any canadians can ease their minds about me typing all of this on their dime now.

6) i’m not a very patient person.  i’ve a really hard time dealing with people i suspect may simply be stupid . . . unfortunately i’m also one of those people who thinks that most of the world is an idiot.  isn’t that terrible?  yes, it is — and you can say so.  but seriously, don’t you find that you’re amazed that half the people you meet have actually managed to leave the house with their pants on?   some of this is likely left over from the millions of years that i spent waiting tables, but it hasn’t gotten any better working with the crazy librarians here at on top of the mountain.  okay — i’ll stop now before you all start thinking i’m truly a terrible person. 

7) i’m a talk radio junkie.  when i first moved to canada i didn’t know how i would survive without NPR.  CBC is filling the void quite nicely though i still miss Whad’ya Know? and Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me!. .  .okay, and i secretly miss the Car Guys a lot too. 

8) while the NPR bit likely outed me already. . . i’ll tell you that i’m very very lefty in my politics.  i don’t want to get into things here, but know that you will likely every now and again see that come through on this blog.  i’m very open to hearing other people’s views if they can actually have a dialogue about it. . . .unlike my dad who leans so far to the right that he needs a cane to hold him up.  he listens to cr-azy talking radio (once in the car with him i had to listen to this guy who took a steak knife to the soccer ball his wife brought home for their kid because soccer was not american enough.  for real.) and is a fox news watcher  — things which might be okay on their own, but he cannot explain his points of view in a conversation. . . . he’s just right all the time.  he probably thinks ann coulter makes sense.  okay.  i’m going to stop now or things could get dangerous around here.  that said — it’s not about liberal or conservative / democrat or republican for me.  it’s about social issues and how people should be treated and respected.  to me, domestically this means health care, living wages, marriage for people who love one another, fair treatment by police and government, etc etc.  internationally it means being a team player. . . .oh, and not bombing the fuck out of other countries.  i really need to stop there, don’t i?  yes.  shhhh.  my mother always tried to teach me never to talk religion, money, or politics. 

so there you have it. . . eight random things about me.  i’m going to be bad and let this tag die here because i think most of you have done it?  if you haven’t — consider yourself tagged and get to it!

thanks everyone for your lovely comments on my last post.  you are one great group of women.  i’ve only just been able to really read them. . . i also have a million blogs to catch up and comment on. . . also, Sarah mentioned in the comments that she wondered if she should maybe stay away from my blog as a pregnant lady.  the answer is no — i love YOU pregnant ladies (and of course all of you soon to be pregnant ladies).  you all give me hope.  plus, you get it, and aren’t going to tell me to just enjoy other people’s children.  so, all of you knocked up ladies are most welcome here.  maybe you’ll rub off on me.  i’ve actually been thinking of hanging around unknown pregnant ladies as long as i don’t have to talk to them or hear them talking.  i swear husband and i conceived after my last hair appointment, and my hair lady was about five months pregnant then.  could it be catching?  please? 

also and again, let me know if any of you have gone the herbals route.  i’d really like to hear what you and your docs have to say about it.  it’s one of those things that i kind of believe in, but am afraid of mixing with western medicine….

also, i need to start posting shorter posts.  it’s like i think you all have nothing else to do or something. 


17 Comments so far
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Dude. You make me LAUGH like nobody’s business. :)
I got nothing on the herbals – though for a while I was drinking stuff my acupuncturist recommended. Tasted a little like dirt, but it made me feel all earthy crunchy.
But I had to give it up when we started IVF, so it didn’t last that long.
I will say that I am so glad you are in a stronger place right now. Healing is never linear- so you might go back to that place again – but it means that you’re starting to heal. Which makes me happy.
And btw, I also sucked my thumb until I was like 12. It’s sad, actually. But I still sleep with my stuffed bunny Oprah (don’t ask), and I can’t blame it on the fact that I was mugged. *sigh*

Comment by serenity

There’s so much here, I don’t know where to start. You sound so well. I’m glad you had a good visit with friends.
Random stuff: I’ve only been to Canada once, just in this past year. We stayed on Pelee Island out in Lake Erie, and we didn’t have a TV or good radio reception. I regretted not being able to see or hear Canadian news. I was interested in how it might be different.

Comment by Furrow

I hate to admit it, but I was really late to drop the thumb-sucking also.
I’m glad you’re doing well.

Comment by ultimatejourney

You are definitely sounding stronger, which is impressive and fantastic. I was really worried about you!!
I love your long posts, though I sometimes curse work for keeping me from being able to read them in one sitting. Those damn bills that need to be paid!! ARGHH!
A friend of mine, who allegedly was told that she would have trouble conceiving when she visited a specialist at 20, has gone on to have three “accidental” children. And she attributes these miracles to her herbal obsession. She certainly overstates the case, but I fell for her lecture a bit and have tried a few. Spirulina irritated my IBS so I stopped that one. I drink the rasberry flower tea sometimes, though it doesn’t taste like rasberry. It is supposed to help tone your repro system but I understand that it is not necessarily safe during pregnancy. It might be a good herb for your body since it is in a transition period.
I HEART that you are very left-of-center on the political spectrum. Because I am, too. And I can’t stand fox news and all of those pesky haters that pose as educated radio commentators!! How can anyone fall for such babble? (I say that knowing people that do and regularly, including my BIL who quotes Limbaugh to me. I always reply with, “you mean the drug addict who broke the law and never got a college degree? Yeah, he’s a GREAT source.”)
I no longer sleep with a stuffed animal but only because my cat, who often snuggles with me at night, attacks it if he finds it in my bed. Before Max joined my life, though, I slept with one of two very special little furry stuffed friends. I am 35. SO WHAT!

Comment by Lady In Waiting

I’m so glad to hear that you’re starting to heal. You’ve been on my thoughts a lot recently.
I’m impatient, too. I considered studying to be an elementary teacher, but, well, the kiddies don’t deserve someone like me. Impatience isn’t the best character trait when you’re suffering from IF. :)

Comment by Ann

Is the third herb possibly Red Raspberry leaf? They actually make a tea out of it. If you drink it everyday it’s supposed to help balance your system and aid in trying to get pregnant and is safe and helpful during pregnancy. Look it up online, there are several good websites that talk about it and Wik1pedia has some good info. Many doctors don’t promote herbal remedies…but I drank it regularly when my cycle went wacko and it improved.
You sound great! I hope things continue to improve!

Comment by Equipoise

Glad you had a good visit with your friends, and that you’re happily back home!

Comment by Sticky Bun

I too am a total NPR junkie, my favorite weekend shows are Wait..Wait.. and Car Talk. I always imagined it would be relatively easy to move to Canada, but now I’m changing my mind :)
I’ve heard all about Web 2.0 also. Hey, we’re using it right now right? But in my building nobodies’ cells work in the work areas, so I guess we’re all turned into luddites.

Comment by Samantha

I drank a herbal “tea” from my acupuncturist. It was disgusting. Did it work? I don’t think so, but it did make my pulse stronger. Did it make me pregnant? No. My RE is fine with me going to acupuncture. I won’t mix herbs with my IVF drugs.

Comment by My Reality

i LUUUUUUUUV wait wait, don’t tell me! and so glad to hear you’re doing well.

Comment by Sarah

If you ever get the itch to move to the southern US, would you come be my neighbor? I would love to have another sane person (politically speaking) in my general vicinity. And can I say that you “sound” like you’re feeling much better and that makes me happy :)

Comment by sharah

LOL about not having patience with people. That cracked me up. I havent tried any herbal meds at all. Let me know if they work :)

Comment by Meghan

Herbal tea is an acquired taste for sure. And really, why should you have patience with folks that try your patience?

Comment by Matthew M. F. Miller

Thank you for the good laugh – you are one funny lady.
Hurrah for your politics! (this from a European Socialist, ie slightly to the left of the entirety of San Francisco, and swimming with the Orcas already, who is usually far too nervous to comment on politics on USA blogs for fear of disturbing the Wrath of the Righteous).
As for Librarianing, I too am a raging luddite – I spend my happiest hours mending books or doing a little quiet cataloguing with a big list and some post-it notes. Online resources? Eek.

Comment by May

It sounds like you’re in a good place.
But don’t–I repeat DON’T–go to Knocked Up. I went. I regretted it.

Comment by Mel

I’m glad you are feeling better. This journey just sucks. I’m pretty left wing, so is my dad – it’s my mom and brother who are right wing. It is very odd to hear her spout the Democratic party platform and then decide she must vote for Bush… ::shudder::
Former cataloger here. Then I went private sector IT and never looked back – well, maybe once or twice.
I’m not really a luddite, but I can relate since there is no way to keep up with everything everyone does. I can barely keep up with what I do!

Comment by MLO

You sure are quirky. HA! I loved your answers!

Comment by Sunny

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