exile in kidville

May 23, 2007, 1:20 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

still, we wait.

my GP called me bright and early this morning after a night of little sleep.  she hadn’t received the full u/s report yet, just one line stating that they suspected a "missed abortion." 

god, you would think these fucking people could come up with more sensitive terminology.

i asked if we couldn’t do another round of betas.  why am i always the one suggesting blood work?  she agreed, and told me to stop by and pick up the requisition.  while picking it up, i was to check in and see if the actual results had come in.

i took my puppy for a walk, then went up to get my paperwork.  while doing so, the results had come in and my doctor wanted to see me to go over them.

the embryo is measuring one clinical week behind at 6 1/2 weeks.  my LMP was 30 March so this is nearly exactly one week off.  crown-rump measurement is 7mm.  i just looked up some chart that told me that 7mm = 5w0d since ovulation.  by my calculations, i’m 5w3d (give or take) from ovulation.  okay.  breathing.  this might be okay still.  please still be okay.  please. 

i had blood drawn this morning and go back on friday.  my doc says that if i go in really early on friday she might be able to get the results by the afternoon.  also, she is the doc in the practice with weekend duty which is a remarkable stroke of good luck. i’ve a follow up u/s scheduled for june 6th (again, the requisition uses the hateful terminology mentioned above).  we were going to do the follow up in a week, but couldn’t get an appointment until then.  argh.  the blood work will tell the tale before then any way.  my doc told me not to base too much on the result of the first one, as the numbers really start to vary at this point.  the proof will be in the second number.

so that’s what i know.  it doesn’t feel like much, but here is my current version of optimism:

a) it’s not devastating news which means that it has to be kind of good, right?
b) still no sign of spotting
c) still had to force toast down my gullet this morning to fend off the woozies
d) one week "behind" really might not be "behind" at all. i’m sure they base this on the 28 day cycle, not anything i’ve ever experienced while off of the pill.

so, okay.  still in limbo, but okay.  last night was very weepy.  Husband didn’t go to band practice so he could be with me.  he’s a superstar.  i’m so lucky.  we’re hanging in, and are a bit boosted by today’s news.  we were debating whether or not to still go to the arcade fire concert we have tickets for tomorrow night, but decided to go.  distraction is good.

thanks for all of your comments yesterday.  i can’t tell you how much your support means to me.   big hugs to all of you. 


12 Comments so far
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Shit! I can’t believe I didn’t check in with you yesterday so I wasn’t there for you. SORRY!
OMG you must be beside yourself. You poor, poor thing. But it sounds like there are reasons to be optimistic – the data and info you found are promising. I think the measurement is most relevant to time since ovulation, since that’s what really counts in terms of development.
I can’t believe that you have to wait until Friday. Yikes! Email me if you need someone to listen. Or, we can Gchat….
I literally have been holding my breath since I started reading your posts…..

Comment by Lady In Waiting

I’m thinking of you and hoping it works out.

Comment by Caro

Crossing everything for you.

Comment by My Reality

Oh… I can only imagine the anquish. The waiting! So, so sorry. There should be a fast track for situations like this.
Hoping with all my might for the best.

Comment by furrow

so very much hoping this turns out to be okay….

Comment by Sarah

I’ll be wating with you…

Comment by Samantha

glad you had to choke your toast down! still thinking of you…

Comment by coffeegrljp

It seems inhumane to make you wait like this for some reassurance! I’m sending prayers and positive energy to you, and hoping with all I’m worth that you’ll be heaving a gigantic sigh of relief soon…thinking of you and will be checking back at every possible opportunity for the update.

Comment by K

thinking of you and hoping that you have some kind of news soon. i can’t believe you can’t have another u/s until june 6 – can’t they squeeze you in somehow?! ugh. i agree that having to choke down your toast is a good sign – hopefully all will continue to be well. hang in there.

Comment by Carrie

You know I’m here in the trenches with you.

Comment by Ann

I have all my digits crossed for a happy ending. Either way, I’m here for you.

Comment by Nicole

Best of luck, I hope you get some reassuring news at your appointment today…I’m keeping everything crossed for you!!

Comment by watson

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