exile in kidville


still, nothing
May 22, 2007, 6:26 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

so i had both an abdominal and vaginal scan today.  all i know is that they didn’t detect a heartbeat.  the scan was done at a hospital so the only human contact i had was with technicians.  the first one, who did the abdominal scan, said absolutely nothing during the scan except to ask me if i had regular periods (which i don’t).  he went off to show some mystery doctor that i never saw and came back to tell me that they would next do a vaginal scan.  in comes a different technician.  she too said little.  she checked my ovaries and nothing was awry there, so no ectopic.  there was a sac but i’m not sure what else because no one told me fucking anything.  this technician left to show the mystery doctor the pictures from the vaginal scan.  she came back in the room and told me to call my doctor.  and that’s it.  i know fucking nothing and i’m absolutely terrified.  i’ve called my doctor and have an appointment for friday, but she is supposed to call me tomorrow.  i think i have to demand another beta at this point.

this tells me that maybe there is nothing to worry about.  i still haven’t had any spotting.  also, the midwife we met with a little bit ago told us that she would have scheduled an ultrasound for a week later, and not to panic if we didn’t see a heartbeat at this scan.  i just don’t know.  after today’s experience Husband and i are having a hard time staying positive.  i feel really scared and sad.

fuck.

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13 Comments so far
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Damn! That sucks that they couldn’t tell you anything today! We didn’t see a heartbeat on our first scan, either, so I know how scary it is. As you’ve found, there are good reasons not to see one on the first try. I hope they don’t make you wait until Friday to find out something.
I’ll be thinking of you.

Comment by furrow

argh! I hope they give you *something* to work with tomorrow instead of lots of scary quiet people running in and out and not saying anything. Don’t they know that freaks people out?!

Comment by coffeegrljp

What an emotional rollercoaster. I really hope that everything is okay. I hope the doc gives you another beta and that it’s reassuring news. Hang in there…

Comment by Sticky Bun

Praying hard for you and the bean…

Comment by K

I can’t believe they didn’t say anything, that really sucks.

Comment by Caro

I think you may be a little for a scan to show a heartbeat. Not that I’ve had personal experience in this area, but it seems like in other blogs, heartbeats have heard more like 8-9 weeks. So I’m hoping that everything is fine there.
That said, it would be really fucking nice if they could have told you just a little something, even just a “don’t be concerned” or “be concerned” and your doctor will talk to you!
Hang in there.

Comment by Samantha

oh how awful this must feel right now! i have also heard that if you’re at a hospital and not a fertility clinic and dealing with techs who don’t really specialize in these super early scans that can be another reason you wouldn’t see it. most normal fertiles don’t get even get seen by an OB until they’re at least 8 weeks and they don’t always get the scan at that first visit. i hope you get some reassurance from your doc soon.

Comment by Sarah

Stupid technicians, making you worry! Deep, calming breaths — 8 weeks is (I think) the standard heartbeat check here in the states, so you’re still a little early. Hang in there until you can get some reassurance from the doc!

Comment by sharah

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this. I can’t believe they didn’t tell you anything! And I really hope that your doctor gets back to you ASAP and can fit you in earlier than Friday. Ugh. As if you weren’t already anxious! I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and sending positive vibes your way.

Comment by carrie

I’m so angry with those technicians for making you worry so. Meanies. It is very early still to see a heartbeat, so they probably thought nothing of it. No empathy at all. Don’t these people know how often they hold our hopes and dreams in their hands?
Positive thoughts and best wishes wafting towards you across the Atlantic.

Comment by May

Damn techs. Mine were the same way. How can they be so callus? I am sending you positive thoughts and hope that all the worry is for nothing.

Comment by Nicole

Really, it wouldn’t kill those technicians to feign nonchalance–even if they were concerned. I know it’s hard, but try to tell yourself nothing means anything if it doesn’t come from your doctor.

Comment by Ann

Oh how frustrating and scary that must be. Hang in there.

Comment by Meghan




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