exile in kidville

May 18, 2007, 12:51 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

hey gang.
i suppose i’m in the no news is good news camp.  or no pink on the tp is good news. or continued sore b00bs is good news.  or that the smell of coffee that i used to love now makes me wretch is good news. i don’t know.  my u/s is tuesday at 3:30.  i’m nervous.  i’m sure that’s not surprising, being the anxious worry wort that i am.

i have days/hours/moments when i feel that everything is FINE, and then i have days like today that oscillate wildly.  i spent the morning foolishly touring the internets, googling "seven weeks pregnant."  i know that i need to stay far, far away from dr. google right now but that is seemingly impossible — even my job is requiring a lot of googling right now, making it even harder to stay away.  don’t tell my colleagues and patrons that i can’t even follow my own health sciences librarian advice re: avoiding the combination of google and health/medical stuff.  on one hand, trolling through google is better than digging around in the medical databases i have at my fingertips — hard core clinical journals can be much, much scarier that little old google.  either way, both are just plain silly because really?  it’s useless for me to be doing this.  i google about or kick around in databases and pick up all of these little statistics that i can only think of in a vacuum — context be damned, i’m all about finding some numbers that will either please or panic me.  naturally, there are plenty of both varieties out there.  i wish i could back away from the computer — or at least just focus on working….

speaking of working, my colleague who just had a baby boy is bringing him in for show and tell this afternoon so we can meet him and her the quilt we made for them.  i’ve mixed feelings about going to the show.  i really want to see her and the baby, but as usual want to avoid any well meaning comments in my direction.  hopefully everyone will be focused on new mom and baby (as they should be!).  i’m also afraid that if i get to hold the baby i might react in some way.  or just run out of the room with him.  something.**

all worrying aside, most of my week was good.  i was able to walk around being confident in my body, knowing that it was doing what it was supposed to be doing until my run in with the internets this morning.  i guess i just have my moments.  i also P’dOAS again the other day.  lovely, dark, strong second line — darker than all of the previous ones, which made me confident and happy.  maybe i should just keep PingOAS until u/s day.  whatever it takes, right?  :) Husband is a bit nervous about the u/s too.  this may be the longest holiday long weekend in history for both of us. 

we’re going to try to keep busy though.  we’ve dinner plans for both saturday and sunday, which is nice.  the first farmer’s market of the season is saturday — i can’t wait! i heart the farmer’s market  so. much.  doggy class on sunday.  for monday, i’m hoping for a break from the rain that we are supposed to have to endure most of the weekend so i can work on weeding part of the back yard.  distractions are good.  as long as i keep breathing until tuesday, i’ll be just fine. 

just please stick around little bean.  i’m becoming more and more attached to you every day.  besides, i haven’t given you permission to go anywhere.  you’re under strict orders.  stay. put.

**updated to add: just back from the baby / quilt showing.  it was *this* close to being bad.  my eyes welled up the minute i saw that baby, and i almost had to run out of the room.  after that, i didn’t dare hold him.  i just knew i would bawl.  he’s beautiful.  just gorgeous.  this has to keep working more than ever. stay, baby, stay.


8 Comments so far
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oh my goodness, I know what you mean about the dbases. I feel a little better, though, when I do that than when I google. At least I can see the numbers. The annoying thing is having to wade through all the animal studies. I forget to limit my subject to humans.
Good luck with your u/s wait. I know how long 4 days can feel.

Comment by Furrow

Hang in there, hon. There isn’t much you can do right now but wait wait wait.
Hug! May you stay busy and occupied all weekend.

Comment by serenity

You’re doing great, and I am so glad to see you at 7 weeks. Very exciting. Like Serenity said, stay busy this weekend.

Comment by Nicole

You are doing great. It is hard not to google everything. I hope you have a great long weekend.

Comment by My Reality

I have also done many more google searches than database searches. I know my profs would likely have their eyes bulge out of their head, but heck, I’M the patron and I’m ok with it :) Do whatever it takes! Google, POAS, chat with farmer’s!

Comment by coffeegrljp

No news is definitely good news at the moment. I hope this weekend is super-relaxing and you enjoy the farmer’s market. I just went this morning myself.
You can make until Tuesday!

Comment by Samantha

good luck with the ultrasound tomorrow!!!

Comment by Sarah

There is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to think the u/s won’t go well. You’re still having symptoms of pregnancy, and you haven’t seen any blood! You’re going to be fine.

Comment by Ann

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