exile in kidville

so far so good. . . i think (i can, i think i can. . . )
May 14, 2007, 10:39 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

first of all, i just want to say that you were ALL in my thoughts yesterday.    i’m not going to say any more about it because it’s over and it’s monday now.  i hope that each of you handled the day in the way that you needed to and that you either perservered well, had a lovely time with your family, or a bit of both. 

me? at 6w3d, i’m trying to be only positive, and it *does* get easier as more time passes.  the reason that i sometimes slip into near certainty that this won’t stick is because i have been very crampy the whole time.  full on, AF is knocking at the door cramps.  nothing to keep me in bed, just enough to make me highly paranoid.  i’ve had no sign of spotting, so i’m moderately certain that the cramping is "normal" and is "okay."  i just have a hard time believing it deep down sometimes.  that said. . .

(warning.  TMI follows)

i’m almost convinced now that much of my crampiness is due to my new poop-free-lifestyle.  it’s true.  my body has apparently embraced this as a new way of life.   such activities of daily living are apparently below it’s new, delicate condition.  i don’t tend to agree with this new lifestyle though.  i am still firmly in the pro-poop camp and really wish that my body would get on board too.  now. i’m a HUGE water drinker.  i’m actually trying to drink MORE water, but this is nearly impossible.  honestly — i’m the kind of girl who had my doctor tell me last year to drink LESS water because i was complaining about peeing every 20 minutes or so when i’m at work.  i’m SHOVING greens and apples down my gullet daily as if they’re my last meal.  i’m walking my little feet right off (puppy’s feet too) to get exercise. . . . what else can i do? 

my new poop-free lifestyle itself is also serving to make me a little nervous as my body has tried this before.  back in 2005 i went to the doctor for bad cramping and severe constipation and that is when i found out i was pregnant and that it wasn’t going to stick.  that time i had much spotting though and had actually already started bleeding when i went to the doc.  say it with me now — this time is different, this time is different, this time is different…..

my body is a GREAT place for a baby to grow and develop.
my body is just moving things around in order to make room for a baby.
my body is simply doing what it needs to do and i’m being super paranoid.
breathing in, breathing in, breathing in, breathing in
breathing out, breathing out, breathing out, breathing out.

it was so bad on saturday i was nearly in tears as i was trying to fall asleep.   i just kept feeling that it couldn’t be right for me to feel the way i was feeling. 

then on sunday, my body took lessened it’s grip on the evangelical embrace of the poop-free lifestyle and allowed things to. .. well, move.  i felt FANTASTIC.  the cramping nearly disappeared, and i just felt really good and was able to be positive and happy again.  today i’m old el crampo again.  maybe i’m noticing so much because my brain is no longer in my head but down in my girly bits.  that’s what my mom says anyway, so i’m going to believe her.  i was also told by the midwife at the FANTASTIC clinic** we’re going to use that the cramping is "normal," so now i just have to believe it myself.

to do that, i have to repeat the above mantras occasionally throughout the day . . . . and that’s okay too.

aside from the cramping and the poop-free life, tender b00bs and being really tired in the afternoon and evenings (okay, all the freaking time) are my only "symptoms."  if i don’t eat for a while i get a bit acidy, but nothing resembling true sickness.  i’m also a bit more gaseous in general (which is REALLY sexy).  i can’t stand the smell of coffee.  oh, and tired.  i mentioned tired?  i put my head down on my desk last week for a 15 minute power nap and woke up an hour later with my hair all stuck in my eye and a big old red spot up the side of my face from my arm.  lovely.  i have learned to set my cell phone alarm.

saturday we had mother’s day dinner with Husband’s family and he made the announcement.  super early (6w1d at the time), yes but he wanted to tell his mom for mother’s day and i certainly couldn’t begrudge him that especially since my mom already knew.  now my whole (immediate) family knows too, as we called them yesterday and Husband asked my dad if he could call him grandpa.  i tear up just thinking about it.

so, you hear that body?  you have to continue to make this work now, because we’re not about to do any UNtelling.  got it?  also, stop this cramping and really. . . knock it off with the poop-free lifestyle.  it’s NOT working.  for anyone.

**as i’ve already gone on and on, i’ll tell you about the fantastic clinic in my next post.  it’s really cool.


8 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Hey, I hear you on the PFL. That’s some tough shit. (no pun intended). As for the cramps, I know that they are really scary. I had some again a few days ago, and I’m 16wks. I seem to get them every 3 weeks or so. Full on pms cramps here, too. And they last for a day or two. I’ve got to believe it’s all about stretching parts. And, it seems that those of us who get them while menstruating are more prone to getting them during pregnancy. Hang in there and believe in your body. I’m glad you were able to share your news.

Comment by Furrow

The PFL doesn’t sounds too pleasant, but I hope it doesn’t mean anything. Maybe it’s time to pull out the big guns and snack on some prunes (although I hear they’re called dried plums these days) or you could try met.amucil.

Comment by Samantha

This time IS different. :-)
And I have heard and read about how constipation is a common symptom of pregnancy.
Unfortunately, IBS has taught me more than I ever wanted to know about how to deal with such movement problems. Fibe.rcom supplements help without pushing you to the opposite extreme. They don’t have ingredients that cause contractions…only extra fiber.
Good luck and stay as positive as you can!

Comment by Lady In Waiting

I will say it with you. “This time is different, this time is different, (repeat)…”

Comment by Nicole

Constipation is a common side effect of the progesterone production your body is going through. Try prunes or prune juice, but if that doesn’t work, buy a stool softener (NOT a laxative).
Cramping is completely normal, particularly in early pregnancy. Take it as a good sign that the placenta is burrowing in nice and deep. ;) I had (have) a tremendous amount of cramping with this pregnancy (and my last), but worse, I had full-flow bleeding for much of the first trimester on top of the cramps. And yet… the triplets are still doing fine.
So do try not to worry and do stay positive. This time IS different.

Comment by Karen

Positive is good.
Can you take a fiber supplement? I know a PFL would make me miserable.

Comment by My Reality

I’ll repeat it for you too, “This time is different, this time is different…”
Oh, and good call on the cell phone alarm. The sleep is good, but you don’t want to be known as “that woman walking around with Post-its on her face”. ;) Keep taking care of yourself!

Comment by coffeegrljp

do you think it might be your prenatal? i had problems with some of them but finally found abrand that’s easier on the digestive system. you might want to ask your doc about that.

Comment by Sarah

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