exile in kidville


16 DPO — now i *am* holding my breath
April 30, 2007, 5:02 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

trying to focus on work is not happening.
i even need to focus on breathing right now.
in.
out.
in.
out.

still no spotting which is VERY out of the ordinary for me.
i bit the bullet and POAS this morning.
two lines — pale-ish, but definitely two.  i didn’t even have to squint.

i called my clinic who immediately and unceremoniously handed me right back to my GP.  the nurse wouldn’t even tell me if i should continue taking met or not.  they don’t even want to see me…

so i called my GP.  i told the receptionist that i had a faintly positive pregnancy test, asked what the next step was, blah blah blah.
"so, when did you want to come in?"
are you kidding me?
i want someone to write me a requisition to get some blood drawn. now.  today. this instant.

as i hadn’t actually seen my GP since February, she thought that i should come in for an appointment.  there was a 1:15 cancellation, could i come in?
you bet your arse i can be there.

early lunch and off i went.
i peed in a cup.  positive.  faintly positive, but positive all the same.
whew.  i was a wee bit concerned that it was the cheapo tests that i ordered from the internets.

so i asked my doc, "now what?  now what?"  she told me that it was basically a waiting game now. 
they’re making me an ultrasound appointment for the week of may 20th.  if we see a heartbeat, great.  if not, it’s considered "missed pregnancy" and we’re back to….?  what?  i suppose i then call my fertility clinic folks and tell them i’m coming back?  i’m still a bit in shock that they dropped me so quickly.  especially for a pale line.
as you may be able to tell, my GP is very laid back west-coast style….mostly this is a good thing, and a refreshing change from the doc i had when i lived in the states, but that is a whole other story.

i however, am anything but laid back about this.
again i asked — "bloodwork?"
"what is your anxiety level about this?"  asked dr. laid back
are you serious? "medium-high"
i got my requisition, results Cc’d to me.  phew.
i was a bit surprised that she was as laid back as she was, knowing that she too was a patient at my fertility clinic.   she KNOWS what this is like. 
anyway, i ran off to have them stick me with a needle and now i continue to wait.
and wait.
and wait.
back for the second blood draw on thursday. 

while i hate the waiting, i’m now hoping that i get to continue waiting until the week of the 20th.
i’m terrified this won’t stick.

if i keep peeing on sticks should that monitor how things are going or will that only serve to drive me insane?  if viable, i would expect that line to grow darker over time, no?

holy cow i’m still freaking out.

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14 Comments so far
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Wow!!!! Congratulations!!! I know I would be all about wanting to make sure my betas were rising with blood tests, so I completely understand where you are coming from. I too am surprised that the clinic didn’t at least want to do that part for you, but hey, it sounds like your GP will follow you along! Wow!!!!

Comment by Samantha

congratulations!

Comment by Sarah

Oh, HOORAY!!! I am so so so SO happy for you!
I’m so glad you finally got the bloodwork – it will ease your mind a bit to know what is going on. I can’t believe the clinic dropped you like that! Did you even get to talk to your doctor?
I don’t know about the line getting darker thing (see peeonastick.com) – so don’t freak yourself out if it doesn’t get darker.
And breathe, breathe, breathe :)

Comment by carrie

Congrats hun….I am so happy to hear that…but I know the fears of wondering how things are going. As far as the line getting darker…it would make you feel better…but in some instances it just doesn’t…and well that would drive you nuts. I would say if you can help it only do it every couple of days…so there really is a chance it would be darker. I can’t wait to hear back about your b/w and Thursday’s results.

Comment by M

WOW – it is completely reasonable for you to ask for regular blood tests to make sure that your HcG is rising as it should (since you were undergoing fertility assistance.) That puts you in a separate category from other women who simply get pregnant. And the lines on the pregnancy test should get darker quicker in accordance with rising HcG levels over the next week or so. Your doctor sounds like the type that needs to be pushed – so push her!

Comment by Lady In Waiting

Fingers crossed fingers crossed fingers crossed… And congratulations, and I really hope you get to enjoy being pregnant. It’s so sad that after all the hassle to get here, you can’t relax and rejoice.
Best wishes

Comment by May

Wow! I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you continue to get BFPs and all manner of good, positive results :)

Comment by coffeegrljp

Breathe, breathe, breathe–I’ll shout a huge Yay! for you while you do some deep breathing exercises. I am crossing my fingers for a good beta today and doubling on Thursday. And a good u/s in 20 days. This is fantastic news :-)

Comment by Mel

Oh this is so exciting! You breathe and I will hold my breath for you.

Comment by Nicole

CONGRATULATONS!!!!
Deep breaths. It makes it all better. Really.
As to your pee stick question – generally speaking it should get darker over time. BUT it doesn’t always. The only quantitative way to see if your levels are rising is to get betas – blood tests.
Wow – awesome! I’ve got everything crossed for you.

Comment by serenity

Congratulations! That’s wonderful news. I, too, am surprised your RE dropped you so quickly. I have more frequently heard stories of women’s RE’s keeping them much longer than the patient even thought was necessary.
Just remember that while you hear lots of bad stories from other people, the chances are very, very good that you will be JUST FINE come May 20. Again, congrats!

Comment by Ann

Aieee! I’m hoping so hard for you, but I won’t be able to check back til Friday — you’re in my thoughts!

Comment by sharah

I am in shock that the clinic just dropped you! I will cross everything that the beta comes back nice and high.

Comment by My Reality

Wonderful news!!!!

Comment by Sunny




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