exile in kidville

April 20, 2007, 2:55 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

hi all.
how are you?
it’s DPO 6 or 7 here — depending on your choice of the devil’s software (tc*yf or fertilityfri*nd).  thus far, i feel remarkably removed from the whole 2ww thing.  before i ponder why that is so strange, i will simply wait for the obsessiveness to return to what is ordinarily a very tense waiting period.  i just feel a little numb about the whole thing this cycle. 

thanks for all of your comments on my last post.  it’s true — no one wins in a situation like that, and planned sex sucks all around.  when i got home monday afternoon, Husband was apologetic (which felt weird).  i told him some of what i said in my last post, but without the anger.  it was good.  he went off to be sporty and when he came home, he came right over and sat down next to me.  he gave me a hug and told me that he thought more about what i had said, that i was absolutely right, and that he would try to be more respectful of what it is that i am going through.  he’s a gem. 

i had a pleasant surprise on tuesday night when we went over to Husband’s mom’s for dinner.  we found out on the way over that his good friend D and his pregnant wife P were also going to be there.  i was immediately on edge.  i wasn’t worried so much about D & P being there,  i was more concerned about Husband’s mother’s boyfriend.  still with me?  Husband’s mother’s boyfriend is QUITE the talker, and once went on and ON at a dinner about how Husband and i need to have children.  i was certain that my being in the same room as a pregnant P would give him cause to go on and ON and ON yet again about us having our own kids.  lucky for everyone this didn’t happen because on the way over there i gave myself permission to run to the bathroom crying if that is what i needed to do should he act up.  ANYWAY, nice as it was, that in and of itself was not the pleasant surprise, that i didn’t find out about until we were on the way home.  apparently, right after we got there Husband’s friend took Husband aside and asked how we were doing and how much baby talk would be okay as he and P didn’t want to upset me.  i was really touched by that.  Husband answered that we were fine and that anything was okay.  after he told me about this i told him that might not always be the case, but didn’t push the issue.  the main thing is that it felt nice to have someone consider this at all.   

less pleasantly, i spoke with my friend who announced her pregnancy to me a few weeks ago.  disappointingly she went on and on with tales of women who went on vacation only to get knocked up.  no mention of our last conversation, so i suppose she didn’t even notice my reaction so that’s good.  if she does go on with vacation advice again i’ll have to tell her to knock it off.

anyway — that’s my news.  not much of it.  all is well. 

i joined the Barren Bitches Book tour #4: Waiting for Daisy by Peggy Orenstein.  Peggy will be participating as well!  if you haven’t signed up yet, run off and do so!  i ordered my copy of it on am*z0n, and simultaneously discovered that you can buy pee sticks there.  on am*z0n! wtf?  today my reslove broke and ordered 10 preggo sticks.  sigh.  (note:  you can’t buy such things on the canadian version of am*z0n, only on the US side. . . hmmm)

when i ordered Waiting for Daisy, i also threw in Conquering Infertility by Alice Dolmar.  Serenity recommended this book to me in the comments of one of my posts.  so far, so good.  i also really liked the Infertility Survival Handbook by Elizabeth Falker.  i thought it was really informative, yet simultaneously very hopeful.   

while i’m short on news of my own, the network news has been abuzz with a fertility related though.  have you heard of Melanie Boivin?  She’s a woman in Montreal who has frozen some of her eggs in the event that her six year old daughter with Turner’s syndrome might want to use them in the future. this was also one of the stories on a CBC morning talk show.  they talked with Melanie as well as her doctor, then went to a small panel to discuss the ethical issues this raises.  i had a very hard time with most of the woman panelist’s comments.  i won’t taint you with my views on this story. . . mainly because they are still forming. 

here’s a link to the talk show.  scroll down to The Current:  part 2.  certainly thought provoking.  discuss!


3 Comments so far
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interesting. best of luck for a speedy & minimally obsessive 2ww!

Comment by Sarah

wow…lots of interesting news…glad you and your husband are back on the same page…feels good, doesn’t it? and the friends sound great….i was thinking of reading peggy orenstein’s book, not sure if i’m in the right space right now…and finally, i don’t think i realized that you’re canadian?! sariel heard the same broadcast and we had an interesting discussion…i didn’t hear it, but like you, my opinion is still forming…
hope the rest of the 2ww speeds by and that it’s your last one for a good long time!

Comment by shlomit

Thoughts on the broadcast: on the one hand, it’s a very loving thing to do. As long as when the daughter is making reproductive decisions she doesn’t guilt her in to doing it or nag her about it, etc. On the other hand, the daughter’s child would be genetically her half-sibling, and there is something so strange and messed up about that. I guess it’s nice that the daughter will have the option, but I hope that she won’t feel obligated to pursue it.

Comment by carrie

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