exile in kidville

sunshine and lollipops
March 26, 2007, 3:37 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

only a crazy lady looking to get knocked up would be excited about feeling a little woozy in the morning.  my first reaction to how my body felt this morning was distaste but as i woke up more it quickly changed to a mad sort of glee.  surely my wooziness had *nothing* to do with the fact that Husband and i had nachos for dinner last night.  certainly not. 

trying to be rational is futile during this phase of my cycle.  i’m usually excessively pessimistic.  however, after reading very positive, very inspiring posts by Merideth and Shlomit, i’ve been made a conscious decision to be. . . well, more positive.  i may want to beat my own ass for this in about a week, but for now i’m going to take every sign as a positive sign, damnit.  i tried to do that in the beginning, but somehow ended up in a place where every sign was just automatically dismissed as false optimism.  no more.  it’s going to be miss mary effing sunshine up in my business from here on out. 

for at least a week.  :)

sore bo*bs?  check
light spotting?  check (CD 10 or 11 depending.  just on the tissue)
feeling a little woozy in the AM?  check.  well, this AM anyway (the new optimist takes the nachos completely out of the equation).

it’s a cruel joke that all of the signs of early pregnancy are exactly the same as a coming period.   a cruel, cruel joke.

you ladies are all an inspiration.  any tips on remaining positive?  or do you think it’s safer to try to find more of a middle ground between pure optimism and "realism?"  that seems that would be a hard balance to strike.  i think after so many months of pessimism i’m going to keep with the purely positive theme for a spell and see where it takes me.   

thanks too for all of your comments on my temping post….i’m trying not to stress about it and just take it around 6:30 every day, regardless of how much sleep i’ve had before then or whether or not i had to pee at 4am.  even if i go back to sleep i’m usually awake around 6:30, so it’s no big deal.  some good sleeping has happened recently, so something must be working.  i don’t think i’m ready to give up the electronic charting just yet though. . . :)  i may need some intervention to get rid of that at this point.

so for now . . .
my glass is half full, the sun is shining, and my inner cynic is doubled over in pain.   here’s to a positive week!


4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Glad to see the glass is half full for you right now! Keep it up.

Comment by Nicole

I don’t know. You’re asking the 64,000 question here – I find that “hope management” is the HARDEST part of all of this.
I personally find the balance between realism and optimism the best place to be. Hoping for the best but prepared for the worst.
*sigh* It’s tough. I hope you can strike a happy medium between your inner cynic and the optimist.
And of course it goes without saying that I hope the “symptoms” are a sign of wonderful things too. :)

Comment by Serenity

thanks for your comment on my blog. i guess you already know how i feel about optimism and realism. for me, i feel it is possible to be happy about where i am today, while remaining aware of what may lie ahead. some people have commented to me that it must be hard to strike that balance. it’s not something i tried to do. it’s just my reality.
good luck this cycle, i hope the symptoms are just the beginning!

Comment by Sarah

hi megan, thanks for your comment. i recently put my thermometer in a drawer, away from sight, for good, i think. i too was really obsessive, for a year and a half, and i wasn’t ovulating or getting my period, and still, every single freaking day i would temp. and get so excited when i thought i had ovulated and so incredibly disappointed when it would turn out that i hadn’t. i must say, it’s much much nicer so far to not temp and to just let my re’s office worry about my cycle. but i may very well have a temping relapse – we’ll see! but as for hope, i’m in the positive camp right now. and even if i’m still trying for many months more, i hope i can stay positive.

Comment by carrie

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