exile in kidville


98.5 thank you very much. you?
March 23, 2007, 3:17 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

thanks for all of the comments on my inaugural post.  at the sight of the first two comments i nearly started bawling.  just seeing them there, i felt less alone than i have in over a year.  thanks.  it was a good decision for me to start this, i think.

okay, so maybe you’ve heard of this book.

ha!  of course you have.  if you’re here, odds are that you’re actually quite familiar with this tome, no?  i seriously have a love hate relationship with it.  perhaps not with the book itself, but with the damned software within.   that and the supposed friend of the fertility as well.  i’m so obsessed with this charting business that i’m not sleeping well.  i wake up at 2AM and panic.  should i be taking my temperature?  no.  whew.  okay.  back to sleep.  then up again at 4 or 5am.   crap!  i should be taking my. . . damnit it’s only 4am.  now i won’t be able to have the requisite three hours of sleep before i take my temperature.  #%&@.  &*#%^$. then i might doze until 6:30 or so (when i’m actually "supposed" to take my temp).  super.  as a result, my chart this month has been wacky.  at least that’s what i’m attributing its wackiness to.  this is only my third month charting, but the previous two months my pre-O temps were always in the 97s and this month they remained high — until i had some normal sleep.  now i’m still having some trouble sleeping, but my temps are supposed to be higher so it’s not as stress inducing.  still though, argh.  i’m so completely obsessing over my freaking temperature this month that is cannot be healthy.  i may have to bury the computer, my thermometer, the devil’s book, and perhaps all of the pens and pencils in the back yard.   

my RE is the one who started me on this charting mess.  my chart is what had her send me immediately to the lab for a pregnancy test last month after our appointment.  she was *convinced* i was preggo just by looking at my chart — which i now really don’t understand as i was only 12DPO (okay, really, i love you tcoyf or i wouldn’t know that).  then i got to sit in the car with Husband’s coworker and quietly cry most of the way to Manning Park.  joy!  thank you RE for your false optimism!  i knew there was a reason that the only sticks i pee on anymore are OPKs!  i’m actually a little relieved that my RE is on holiday for most of march and i don’t have an appointment until i’m either 27DPO :) or on CDunknown.   my reluctance is based not only on avoidance but fear.  it’s so much easier if AF actually just stops by instead of the brutal disappointment of knowing for certain that she’s really only just missed her flight and is running a bit late . . . . and even though it has only happened to me once, i’m way too scared to have someone tell me i’m knocked up one day and then not knocked up the next again.   however, i imagine that even i couldn’t wait until 27DPO though and would likely POAS before my appointment.  even i have my limits!  i figure that an added bonus of my fear is that i get to save my money for the OPKs which are nearly 10x the price.  :)   

anyway, have you also had an obsessive relationship with the thermometer and/or the tracking software?  if so, did you find that it eventually levels out and becomes more of a normal everyday occurrence or am i doomed to be obsessive?  i can see it now.  i’ll start walking into work and people will ask me how i am doing and i’ll report my temperature instead of answering like a coherent human. 

"Hi Megan — how are you?"
"Well, I’m 98.6 which might sound completely fine to you, but I’m only on CD8 and my temp really should be much lower right now, but I haven’t been sleeping and I think that is why it is remaining at these post-ovulatory levels.  It this keeps up I’ll never know when I’ve ovulated!  Thanks.  How are you?"

*sigh* 

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8 Comments so far
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You’re doomed :-) I can only say that because I literally needed to have it pried from my hands and hidden when I finally stopped temping. I’ve been considering temping again, but I know that I will get right back to that obsessive place. I spent all day staring at my chart–and I didn’t even need to take my temp. My whole cycle was controlled by the RE. But I still took my temperature every morning. And entered it into Fertility Friend (where I have a lifetime membership). Until my husband put his foot down. Apparently the alarm going off at 6 a.m. on a Saturday is “annoying” and “unnecessary.” At least you know that you’re not alone :-)

Comment by Mel

Forgot to add that I added you to my blogroll under General Infertility, but I can move you to any category (it’s simple to move people around). Welcome to the blogosphere :-)

Comment by Mel

OK send me the link to your blog – I have had to link to it through stirupp queens not that thats a bad thing but geez…I keep getting your knitting one and I couldnt care less about that…sorry ;)

Comment by Meghan

Oh, I was completely obsessive for my first two months charting, to the extent I’d wake up in a panic at about six am and then realise I’d woken up at the worng time again and messed up… Eventually I was advised to just take my temp at exactly the same time every morning, whether I had woken up previously or not, and simply mark bad starts to the day ‘sleep deprived’. Within a week my chart looked far smoother and, believe it or not, I stopped waking up in a panic.
Just my tuppence-worth – feel free to ignore it.
And I knit too! Obsessively! Because what’s the point in having a hobby if you don’t get good and obsessive about it?

Comment by May

your story sounds frighteningly familiar!!!! i had all kinds of voodoo krap going on trying to get some sort of system going that didn’t have me TOTALLY obsessing…good news: i did chill out eventually. what worked for us is to have my husband be in charge of waking me up at 6:00 a.m. every morning (i didn’t even set me alarm) and then we’d go back to sleep for 1 or 2 more hours (okay, at first i couldn’t fall back to sleep obsessing over my temp!)…it DOES get better!!
to be even more honest though, the day we hooked up with our RE, I left the little pink thermometer and fertility frenemy behind!
all the best….hope this is the last month you need it!
peace
shlomit

Comment by shlomit

I still chart my cycle, even though half the time I’m totally regulated. But when I’m not doing a cycle, I like to chart just to see if I’ve ovulated. I got started based off of that little book, and I remember feeling a bit obsessed in the beginning. Some suggestions:
1. Do it the old pencil and paper and forget the computer. Don’t try to anticipate whether you’re ovulating too much, just write down what you observe, no matter how wacky. I’ve found that my info never quite matches examples in the book. After a few months, if you’re still ttc, you can look at old cycles and things will longer clearer after the fact.
2. Don’t worry about how you sleep or taking your temperature at the same time everyday. If you wake up at 6:30 during the week, but sleep in until 9:00 on Saturday, just note it. Charting does not need to rule your life.
3. Remember TCOYF is also based on trying to help people NOT get pregnant. If you’re trying NOT to get pregnant, being accurate is probably a lot more important.
4. Think of the chart as some additional info to help you time things and maybe identify ovulation issues, not as the end-all and be-all of ttc.
FWIW.

Comment by Samantha

TTC brings out the obsessiveness in us!
Just spreading the love by leaving a comment!

Comment by Baby Blues

Oh, we’ve all been there with that mighty tome. Good luck moving away from it. Sometimes I still temp — don’t know why, I JUST do. Thanks for your comment on my blog. I’m looking forward to following your journey.

Comment by Merideth




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